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Family upbringing

By Vlada-Dunina Jun 06, 2015 1043 Words
Family Upbringing Paper/Reflection
The way parents bring us up influence all our further life. With our mothers’ milk we absorb cultural values of our family. Unconsciously we live our life by modeling the lifestyle of the parents. The family is an institution of education and socialization. Russia is considered to be a collectivistic country. However there is a tendency nowadays especially for teens who strive to be more independent. On the one hand parents have taught me some individualistic values. For example, they never wake me up in the morning to go school, never learn my homework with me and check whether it is done or not, never impose their point of view. There was no need to make me do something. The initiative was always from my side. In this way little by little they help me to form my independence and to step into an adult life without any hesitations. Thanks to them I value personal freedom, self-sufficiency, self-reliance, control over my own life and I appreciate the unique qualities that distinguish me from others today. On the other hand parents have taught me some collectivistic values: to help others, to be generous, to feel happy and proud for somebody’s success. Now I consider that my individualistic features prevail over my collectivistic ones and that is proved by the results of the online survey. The results of the survey on the site showed that I am a high individualist (my score is 37 from 40) and I am a moderate collectivist (my score is 27 from 40). Qualities that describe me very well are: one should live one's life independently of others; what happens to me is my own doing; I prefer to be direct and forthright when discussing with people; it is important to maintain harmony within my group. Speaking about masculinity and femininity features I can say that there are big differences across cultures in terms of gender roles. In my family from the childhood I and my sister was raised in such a way which formed our qualities such as gentleness, decency, modesty, independence, attention, compassion and tolerance. Housekeeping, cooking and child care is primarily duties of females in my house. According to my family perception boys should be hardworking, brave, courageous and persistent. Men are responsible for all physical work. However in Russia women are not related to the weaker sex. On the contrary women are those who can do everything, they will “…stop a galloping horse, will enter any burning cottage…” Men are also expected to open the door, help to wear the coat, help to carry huge bags, give up their seats on the metro, pay for dates and so on. My father was not very involved in my upbringing. My mother took an essential part in it. It doesn’t say that my dad doesn’t love me; as far as I know, it is just the peculiarity of many Russian families. I do not have such close connection with him as I do with my mom. I cannot share with him my feelings, secrets, innermost thoughts and some intimate things. I feel that lack of father’s support and his care in my life. Frankly speaking sometimes I envy families where fathers play a big role in taking care of a child. In my opinion, the role of father in upbringing children is very important and ought to be emphasized as much as mother’s. I was raised without a help of a nanny, and I think that the idea of babysitting is more a foreign concept. Like in the majority of Russian families in my home love always outweighs work. Mother devoted her efforts to caring for the children. She set aside her career until I and my sister was grade school age. Motherhood is the highest priority for Russian women. My mother was always a head, a chief of my family. She is the one who solves majority of problems; she controls finances, she is in charge of all family’s expenses, she does all the shopping for the daily necessities. So to say, my mother has more power in family than my dad. The reason for this is probably that she earns more than my father. It is worth mentioning that my father considers that my mother should always look beautiful, gorgeous and sexy. It doesn’t matter that she is tired or she has a day-off. When I was a small child my parents didn’t allow me to do everything I want. If they see that I was doing something wrong or was behaving in an inappropriate way they immediately pointed this out. Russians are obsessed with watching over and controlling their children. Sometimes mothers overprotect their babies. They want to protect them from every obstacle on their path which is not good in my perspective. Moreover I know that sometimes mothers (like my sister, for example) afraid of leaving their child with the husband. It sounds ridiculous. I do not remember that I was consulted on any family decisions when I was a child. Now when I am 20 years old my parents seek my advice dealing with certain matters. The rule № 1 in my family: elders are always respected. They are considered to be an authority and their opinions are appreciated very much, so to say, they are worth its weight in gold because they are experienced and wise. In Russia there is even a special rule in schools and universities to stand up when teacher comes in the class. This is a way to greet a teacher. You are also expected to give up you seat in a bus if you see an elderly standing while you are sitting. We are taught to avoid arguing and quarrelling with an elder, to remain silent and listen when an elder is speaking, open the door for an elder, seek the advice of your elders when you make important decisions of your life. I believe that the majority of my family's values are consistent with the larger culture. The way we are brought up is very important in every person’s life. It affects all our understanding of the world and cultivated special values that we follow all our course of life.

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