Why Do We Need To Belong

The need to belong is something we humans desire. Aristotle called us the “ social animal”. Psychology has shown that we need to associate with others, and develop close relationships. Being with someone or with a group makes us feel like we are part of something bigger and more important than ourselves. This need to belong is often referred to as belongingness, “ human emotional need to affiliate with and be accepted by members of a group.” Moreover, this is why people tend to form cliques and distance themselves from different people groups who might be different. The need for belonging brings about intrinsic motivation, “ motivated to perform an activity for its own sake and personal rewards”, and this can lead to changes in behaviors,
The pain of ostracism, exclusion from a society or a group, can be treadful. Severe ostracism can be one one of the worst punishments such as exile, imprisonment, and solitary confinement. Humans are social creatures and without having the benefit of another person to “ bounce off of”, without anything to do, the mind decays and the brain develops atrophies. With nothing to look at vision slowly fades away. Symptoms of anger, anxiety, and hopelessness then foster from being isolated. Psychologist Terry Kupers states that solitary confinement “ destroys people as human beings.” Interestingly, in California it has been proven that inmates are 33 times more likely to commit suicide than other prisoners incarcerated elsewhere in the
We desire it and were motivated from it. Being accepted, belonged, and forming lasting relationships endeavor many benefits. Our health is boosted, we have a sense of joy, and we feel like we're living for a bigger purpose. In contrast, isolation and loneliness can have negative consequences. Ranging from criminal activity to low self-esteem to even suicide. The pain of ostracism is real, and as Christians we should notice people who are shunned and are outcasts and we should make them feel accepted. This was one of Jesus top priorities in his ministry to reach the lost and reach the ones who were “abnormal” or who were “weird”. This should be our ministry because everyone deserves to be loved, “ Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another” ( 1 John 4:11). God loves everyone and he wants all to come to him “ The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise….not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance “ ( 2 Peter 3:9), and it doesn't matter who you are God wants EVERYONE to be in his family “ For God does not show favoritism” ( Romans 2:11). To sum it up, a researcher George Vaillant was asked what he learned from studying 238 Harvard men from the 1930s to the end of their lives, and he replied, “ The only thing that really matters in life are your relationships to other people”