What makes your child difficult
The difficult child is the child who is unhappy. He is at war with himself, & in consequence he is at war with the whole world. A difficult child is nearly always made difficult by wrong treatment. The conditioned, disciplined, repressed child lives in every corner of the world. He is docile, prone to obey authority, fearful of criticism and almost fanatical in his desire to be conventional & correct. He accepts almost he has been taught without question. Adults take it for granted that a child should be taught to behave in such a way that the adults will have as quiet life as possible. Hence the importance attached to obedience, to manner, to docility. Very often it seems impossible to understand the child & his behavior & the main & the most difficult thing to understand is the reason why the child behaves in such a way. There are some factors that govern the child’s behavior. Analyzing these factors we can answer what makes the children difficult. First of all every parent should pay attention on his child’s temperament. Certain children are hard wired to be difficult. Some children are naturally hot tempered. Some children are placid. Some are very flexible and others are resistant to change. These are basic personality characteristics that are part of the child's internal world. These traits don't come about as a result of what goes on in the child's life. Every child is born with them. Included in this category are natural abilities and disabilities that the child may possess. Your child may be very smart or he may have eye-hand coordination difficulties that are causing him problems. All the natural abilities and weaknesses of the child combine to create his temperament. Everything he sees and all his reactions will be shaped by his temperament. Still, the child's temperament is not static. It can be changed. The child can change many aspects of his basic temperament. But it will take an active effort. He will need to choose to do so. The next important factor is the relationship between children & their parents. Parents are the most influential people in the child’s life. They are the examples for their children. & of cause children’s wellbeing depends on their parents’ love & attention. Parents must be on their child’s side. Being on the side of the child is giving love to the child-not possessive love-not sentimental-just behaving to the child in such a way the child feels you love him & approve him. All children need affection. Of all the function of the family that of providing an affectionate background for childhood and adolescence has never been more important than it is today. One more important thing that influences on the child’s behavior is the temperament of his parents. As have been discussed, parents are the most important persons in the child's life. So how parents react to their child is of paramount importance. And just as the child's temperament affects how he behaves, parents’ temperament affects how they behave. And now we have come maybe to the most influential factor that can turn a child into a difficult one. That is family environment. Home plays many parts in the life of the growing child, it is the natural source of affection, the place where he can live with the sense of security, it educates him in all sorts of ways, provides him with his opportunities of recreation, it affects his status in society. Moreover the behavior of the child depends on the people that surround him. The life of an only child is very different from the life of a child with older and younger siblings. Family relationships, whether you are a single parent or married, whether your child has natural or step siblings etc. will effect dramatically your child's environment. If the child has a sibling who is disabled or one who is outstandingly successful, if parents are happily married or if there is marital stress or divorce- all these things will...
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