Two Families (comparison/contrast paper)

I told my boyfriend I love his family more than my own. At first he questioned me why, but as time goes by it appears I obviously get along with his parents much better than with mine. My family and my boyfriend's family are almost opposite of each other. Different cultures, different social background, and different opinions about lives and raising their children, different personalities… all of those create an enormous distance between them.

Any parents would wish their child the best. My parents and my boyfriend's parents are just the same. They love us with all their heart, support us with all they have and pray for us to have a bright future ahead. Both families focus on education, the tool to have a good living and the ability to support our own selves. Our parents support us both financially and morally; thus give us sincere thoughts and advices to help us stand strong in our lives. Nevertheless the two families differ too much in their ways of showing their kids "love."My parents have always been a significant, conservative, Asian couple. My dad was a national elite student chosen to study in Germany with a governmental scholarship, the pride of his clan. My mom was the smartest child in her family, also the only one to graduate from 2 universities. My parents praise education, knowledge and social status which they believe will ensure me a good living and high recognition from others, since from their own lives they experienced being the most educated, the most appreciated from their degrees and successful careers. Old Asian culture always regards the more education you get the higher the social position you have, or at least your position among your friends and relatives would change. For my parents, their definition of "education" does not include personal interests.

I used to have two art classes in elementary school, painting and keyboard. I have been in love with drawing since I was able to grab a pencil, and my keyboard tutor suggested trying piano to advance my music skills. However, as soon as I got to junior high, my parents told me to stop taking those classes and to concentrate on my schooling. They feared the time I spent on my art classes would lower my ranking in class in the most competitive junior high in the city. I was allowed to take the painting class once more in summertime but that was the last time. Ever since, my parents have not let me be involved in any other art related activities because they think "it's just a waste of time."When I entered high school, I wanted to go to my favorite school which has a lot of activities and events going on all the time, but my parents sent me to another school which has strict discipline and a heavy study load. Now I am in college and I have figured out that a business major is not a good match for me. My parents are forcefully making me finish my business major, as they ensure me that it is the "best option for me" and I will get a job immediately after graduation with "their arrangement." They also asked me which major I would rather take if not business management, and before I had time to reply they said banking or finance sounded good to them. My parents insist that the importance of a career is to earn a good living and also a social status. They love me enough to pick the "best option" for me, but never my choice.

Not only the degree oriented atmosphere in the house exhausted me, but the family connections are also stressful. Parents are ever superior; children have to obey them no matter what happens, whether right or wrong. Among siblings, the older ones also have higher positions, the younger ones cannot talk back. I frequently got scolded for days just because of a "disrespectful" joke or something I said to my older brother. To me those customs just pull family members away from each other. Last but not least, my parents warned me not to date any foreign boyfriend since they believe a marriage with a Vietnamese man is always better than with any other nationality, and more importantly other cultures offer "too open" dating and sex before marriage- their utmost nightmare. I was raised like a princess imprisoned in the castle, the way my mom and dad think is the best way for me to grow up.

My boyfriend is Mexican; his family immigrated to Texas eight years ago. His mom is a Hispanic teacher while his dad is an awesome mixed white-Mexican man. They are both Christian; a religious yet liberal couple. To them their children's education should be their highest priority above all. But unlike my parents, they give their son and daughter the option to do what they want. The only thing they keep on reminding their children is whatever they decide to pursue, do their best at it. And they are always there to support them financially and morally. The decision is their children's to make, the parents just reinforce them to make their dream come true. My boyfriend and his sister are both addicted to computer games. Their living room is packed with games and the walls are covered with game posters. They love gaming so much they choose to study computer science and programming to be with their beloved games for life. They understand the job would not make a good living nor be highly socially recognized, but they do not care about it, they just want to achieve their goal. Their parents also agree to what they chose, and encourage them to follow their will. Their way of love and caring also includes respect, which I cannot feel when I am with my parents.

Moreover, the connection between family members is not like in my family. They respect each other, treat each other politely but also have a close contact. The sister and brother can play games together, have fun like two close friends and have an equal position; something that rarely exists in Asian culture. I envy the way my boyfriend can talk and joke freely with his sister and how fun it is to be with his family. At the dining table, we would make fun of each other and have a memorable time. And when my boyfriend introduced me as his girlfriend I was warmly welcomed at his house. The first time I met his mom she gave me an adorable lucky bracelet, showing how much she cares and understands.

The two families come from different backgrounds, have different beliefs and cultures but they both care about their children and wish them the best they could have. However my parents' way is "too proper"; they do not give me the freedom to decide for my own life. The love that a parent can best give their child is the support and the opportunity to stand on their own feet.

Source: my own experience