“Your thoughts and beliefs of the past have created this moment, and all the moments up to this moment. What you are now choosing to believe and think and say will create the next moment and the next day and the next month and the next year” (Hay, 1999). Everyone has a story about who he or she is and how he or she got themselves where they are today. Lives are complicated they all have a past, a present and a future. What lies ahead in the future we do not know, but one thing is even though the past can affect you, the past does not make who you are in the future.
I am 29 years old, I residing in Montana; I was born in Woonsocket, Rhode Island. After I turned one my mother decided, it was best to leave mother father. She explained to me as I was older he was not stabled and abusive. Never did I understand my mother’s reason until I was in the same situation with my son. We moved around lot from the time I can remember I never had a steady home or family life.
I do have four other siblings from my mother and three others from my father. I am the oldest out of my mother’s children. I never meet my brother until I was about 24 years old; my mother left him in Ohio with his grandparents. When I was 12, my mother had my sister and when I was 14 had my brother, which I ended up helping raising. I came from a broken family my mother was busy with her addictions as I grew up and my father I never knew of until I was 22. The people my mother left me with to care for me were no better than she was. According to Witt and Mossler (2010), for infants and toddlers, (birth-2 years of age), parents or caregivers are the most important influences. They are responsible for every aspect of care, safety, and comfort during a time when humans are forming their first impressions of the world. Because parents or caregivers are so important, the quality (including quantity of time spent) of relationship has a heavy influence on early childhood development. It seemed as drugs, and men were more important than I was. My brother and sister’s father I considered a stepfather took me in as his own; my mother had been dating him off and on since I was about five years old. She would leave me with him when she would move out; go on a drug binge, or whatever her reasoning was. My stepfather had his own addictions to marijuana and alcohol but he did work and take care of my siblings and me. Even though my mother is no longer with him, I am thankful until this day for him and always will be. I considered my Mémère (grandma) a mother to me, even though she was not always there because she thought raising my mother’s child she would be condoning and enabling her behaviors (addictions). I have learned family is not always blood related, and you can make yourself a family with anyone.
My teenage years were not exciting and fun as most teens experience. I was a very troubled teenage girl. I was very lost, confused, felt different from everyone else, lonely and sad. From the results of a longitudinal research study, children who felt loved and cared for were “happier and showed greater social and moral maturity as adults than those who felt rejected, neglected, or unwanted” (McClelland, Constantian, Reglado and Stone, p53). Due to all the instability, depression, emotional, mental, and sexual abuse, I was suicidal and attempted suicide at the age of 14. Because of the suicide attempt I was hospitalized in a children’s psychiatric and not just one I would be transferred and placed into three different one until I was 17 where I would spend majority of my teenage years in an out of the hospital. I never gotten to just grow up and learn which has affected me as an adult. When released from the hospital for the last time I was sent to live with my Mémère (grandma). My mother had signed temporary guardianship over to my Mémère, which is the best thing she had ever done for me. This is where I would I would...
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