The Origins of My Current Attitude About Writing and Reading.Att

The Origins of My Current Attitude About Writing and Reading.
English as a whole has at no time ever been my strongest or favorite subject readings. I never feel confident when I am writing essays for English class. I came to this country at the age of seven and have never fully grasped either language in writing or reading. To this day, I cannot see myself as a writer, nor can I see myself being able to fully understand many readings.
English classes have never been my favorite classes. However, this has nothing to do with the teacher or professor. I have a hard time brainstorming by myself; I tend to think more whilst with others. The most difficult thing for me is academic writing. While I am at home starting a paper I get anxiety from the instructions and what has to be done, I begin to draw random objects. Though I believe I am a good thinker, I am unable to clearly express myself using words. Generally the lack of me being able to express myself tends to leave gaps or unclear statements from my work. This may be due to my early mixing of languages, creating a conflict in my learning of either Spanish or English.
When I was seven years old, I came here from Mexico. Only being able to experience two years of school in Spanish rendered much of my Spanish writing skills virtually useless. Since the time I started reading and writing in English I have found it difficult to do well on the subject. Being that at home the only language spoken is Spanish, I have found it extremely difficult to grasp the English language and all of its rules. There are many rules to follow in the English language that at many times contradict themselves. Same goes to reading, there are many ways of reading that are confusing to me.
I have never really liked reading for the “joy” of reading. There was a point in time, about three months ago, that I picked up a book and started to read it. It became interesting and began to read it daily for an entire week. However, I cannot seem to be able to stay tuned into a book for too long since I get distracted very easily. My mind starts wondering off and I seem to think about a lot of other things while I'm reading. Though, throughout time, I have learned to like short stories around one page long. However, longer stories puzzle me in that I am not able to follow what the author wants to get across.
Even though I know that I don't have much confidence in my writing skills just yet, I believe the more writing I do, the more comfortable I will become with my writing in the future. In this class, I wish to further my reading and writing skills. I wish to gather and gain skills about writing and reading to boost my confidence in the assignments assigned. I know it will take time, but I am determined to learn.