Dedictaed to the person I used to be.
1.) Tug Of War • 4
2.) Starry Eyed • 6
3.) Home • 8
4.) Quiet • 10
5.) Obsessions • 12
6.) Your Biggest Mistake • 14
7.) Lights • 16
8.) The Writer • 18
9.) Forgot to Laugh • 20
10.) State of Dreaming • 22
11.) Atlantis • 24
12.) Heavy Rope •26
Tug Of War
Before we moved to the house on Inez st. we lived in a house in Garnet st. I have never been good at rememebring street names. I always remember the street by its surroundings.
We used to live in a house with my cousins. We decided to move and my parents searched for a house. We found the house and it looked like a piece of garbage when compared to our old home.
Our old house was painted in sea foam green colored paint. It had five bedrooms, two bathrooms, one large living room, a large kitchen, and a beautiful pattio with a garage and garden.
The new house we were going to move to had three bedrooms, one bathroom, a kitchen, a living room, and a crimson red colored patio. The house looked old with white paint which was very dusty.
I did not want to move in to the house and begged my parents not to buy the house. Sadly I had no say in that and they ended up buying the house.
I had to move schools and had to say goodbye to my friends. I stopped talking to my parents and wished they never found the house.
My parents tried to convince me to give it a try but I would not give in. I pulled at the rope, saying I would never let go. I would never accept that I lived here. Eventually I could not keep holding on and let go of the rope…
In English my name means wealthy guardian. In Spanish it does not really have a meaning. It means lost, it means starry eyed. It is like the number seven. A misty color. It is the meaning of living in your dreams, escaping the reality that people will never understand you. Knowing no one will ever find the real you. Living in your own little fantasy, far away from the other people who live in the “real” world.
It was my grandfather's name and now it is mine. My grandfather. I would've liked to have known him. I do not know much about him and I wish I knew more. My parents rarely speak about their parents for some reason.
At school they say my name wrong as if the sylables had never been pronounced before. But in Spanish my name is made out of a softer something, like silk.
My sister who also has two names, Vianca and Karina, gets called both everyday, but I am always Eduardo, never Martin.
I would like to baptize myself under a new name, a name more like the real me, the one nobody sees. Eduardo as Steve or Vladamir or Lovino. Yes. Something like Lovino will do.
Every time I walk outside my house I see the sky filled with clouds. Gates protecting every house on the block. The barking of dogs and sounds of life.
The neighborhood we live in is quiet peaceful. Cars rarely pass by and it is usually quiet. My house is located on top of the hill and I can look down the hill and see the other houses below. Most of the houses have pets.
One of my neighbors has a pet dog that is very playful. Everyday when I go off to school it walks toward us and tries to make us play with it. It is always trying to make it’s way inside my house and I fear one day someone will steal him and never bring him back because he walks to every stranger it sets its eyes on.
Almost all of my neighbors have pets, yet somehow it is still quiet. Some of my neighbors have pet rabbits, pet turtles, pet birds, but most of them have a pet dog.
I rarely talk with my neighbors, but they seem like nice people. I like to take walks around my neighborhood sometimes. I look at the houses and see how every house is built differently and how every person decorates their house for the holidays. The only problem I have with the neighborhood is walking...