One cold morning, just as the sun had risen above High Street, two men, both in black, dashed hurriedly out of the Merlin Bank. One of the men wore a beard, and both were trim and fit looking, in their late thirties or early forties. They both carried briefcases, from which large denominations of banknotes were poking out; the first man was also carrying a sack with rectangular shaped packets silhouetted against the side; he called out to the one following, “Get a move on, Gilbert; we will miss our connection at the end of Thief Road, and then, dear fellow on to Cadiz.”
“It’s all right for you to say hurry, Harry, but you are forgetting, methinks, perchance, that you obliged me to carry the sack we filled with the numismatic collections, no? Why do we have to meet an old omnibus, anyway? We’ll still be conspicuous, it seems to me, leader most high.”
“Stop your sarcastic whining, and hurry,” Harry repeated authoritatively, magnetically, irresistibly.
As they ran along the road towards their parked car, a green sedan, a policeman, wearing a gown decorated with stars and quarter moons, and eating a large, saucy pie, called out, “Stop! Why have you come from the Merlin Bank? Why are you running? I believe you are acting suspiciously. Stop, immediately!”
One of the men said, “By golly, Harry, the police. We must hurry! He is obviously a very clever policeman. He is very good at deducing?”
“Yes, we must. I think it is the incredibly clever Constable Julius Brown!”
“Constable Brown? Julius Brown, who wears a magician’s gown?”
“Indeed, yes. And when he sees the likes of us, he also wears a serious frown. He would enjoy sending us down. So clearly, Gilbert, it would be unpleasant to be arrested, especially as we now have so much money to spend, Gilbert.” So the two thieves hurtled athletically towards their parked vehicle. Harry jumped into the driver’s seat, and revved up the engine. Gilbert took the passenger’s a seat and held onto the two bags filled with loot from the Merlin Bank.
But Constable Julius Brown was not far behind them. He cried out, “Honesty is the best policy. Thieves never prosper.” Harry easily recognised Constable Julius Brown’s voice, as he put the car into gear and moved out from the kerb.
“Well, Constable Julius Brown,” said Harry, putting his head out the window, “It seems to me we are prospering well enough. Before I go, let me say, your gown is lovely, but a tad slovenly, smeared as it is with droplets from your pie. Bye- bye.” Constable Julius Brown was very annoyed. He was determined that the thieves would not escape. He radioed ahead to Constable Caligula Smith, who was just then playing with the siren on his motorbike and drinking some Milo and eating a chocolate doughnut.
“Constable Caligula Smith, this is Constable Julius Brown. Two thieves, Harry Naughtyfellow and Gilbert Rottenegg, have just robbed the Merlin Bank. You must stop them. They are coming along your street; the one where you play with your siren and eat your chocolate doughnut, and drink Milo. You must stop them.”
“Certainly, but will I have time to finish my doughnut. But oh, my siren won’t work. It’s broken. I will have to use my personality to bring them to a halt. Or otherwise, why don’t you cast a spell? It would do as well as a policeman’s bell. ”
“Oh, dear. No siren, Constable Caligula Smith. I doubt your personality is adequate. You don’t have much of a personality, unfortunately. I do hope I haven’t offended you, as Naughtyfellow and Rottenegg have much offended the law, which I think is very poor. But a spell won’t do. The inspector said spells are a violation of the Bill of Rights and natural law. I see in his reason no flaw…as for your doughnut, if you hurry, I am sure you can finish it. But please, avoid wind. Then the arrest should be a breeze.”
“But as for you, Julius Brown, your morning pie will get cold if you must pursue. Anyway, no time to chat; here come Harry...
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