Satirical Essay About the Economy

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Satirical EssayRyan Persaud

It is crazy to think in this day and age that people like Warren Buffet, Robert Herjavec and other fine hardworking people are below the poverty line. Nowadays it is hard for these people to find an honest job, and for them to make enough to support their families throw in an economic meltdown and these fine upstanding citizen are in crisis mode. What can people like you and I do? We can start paying our due, people are always saying “help the needy” and who is more needy that these people, because I mean 99 % of the world is filthy stinking rich and the other 1 % well they're dirt poor.

Very soon I predict the government will introduce a new tax to help the poor. It should be called “we swear we're giving this money to the poor” just so people know that the money is really going to these poor desperate people. First this tax will affect everything you buy (much like the HST) but it will be more (like 30%) and then it will be deducted off of your salary (to further help them). Furthermore, this tax will help pay for their home renovations, car payments, their kids college/university funds, and other things. This tax will close the gap between the extremely rich and the extremely poor. Next the government, will probably start to give these fine upstanding citizens “welfare” cheques, along with bonuses on their paychecks to help them get back on their feet. Furthermore, once these fine upstanding citizens start to get these benefits, the government will have to keep paying them, so eventually the “we swear we're giving this money to the poor” tax will help pay for these benefits too. Finally, these fine upstanding citizens will be in need of jobs, so I propose that the government, force companies to fire their CEO's, COO's and other high up and important people, and hire the poor citizens. This will not only help the poor, but it will allow the CEO's and other people like them to retire early and give them time to try and...
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