Satirical Essay

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Satirical Essay
School Dress Codes, one of the most argumentative school topics and also one of the most enforced school policies of all time. Everyone has an opinion about what is too short, what is too long, what is too low, what is too high, what is too tight, and what is too loose. These so called “simple” rules to abide by aren’t so simple. According to school boards majority of girls are all indecent, this creates girls to be allowed to only wear a few items of clothing without breaking the sacred dress code law. There are very specific rules about what us girls can and cannot wear. “Skirts, dresses and shorts cannot be more than 2 inches above the knee”, which means we are allowed to wear only long shorts. Sounds like an oxymoron if you ask me, because wouldn’t long shorts be pants? “All pants and shorts must be worn on the waist.” So this obviously means those who choose to wear their pants about their waist would be punished. “All tops should cover the top of shoulders and cover the entire body.” I don’t know what our school would do without the “shoulder showing” dress code rule, because honestly shoulder showing could really get crazy. I mean, us kids get so turned on by shoulders. “I am overwhelmed with lust every time a bare shoulder is in my presence. It’s a good thing we aren’t allowed to show our bare shoulders”, says a fellow Chiawana High School student. Who knows what would happen if we all walked around with bare shoulders all day. Also, since when does a shirt cover your entire body? I have never seen a head to toe shirt, unless you include ghost Halloween costumes made from cheap sheets. If this is the case then I’ve been violating the dress code for over 3 years, wearing shirts that only cover my torso, without even knowing it. How silly of me! “Due to safety and health concerns, flip-flops, chains and studded collars are not permitted in school.” First of all how on earth are studded collars and flip-flops related? Second,...
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