Rudolfo Anaya's Bless Me, Ultima

The deep thoughts that dwell within one’s psyche are often the expectations, fears and aspirations that cause too much agitation to fully express. In Rudolfo Anaya’s, Bless Me, Ultima, the protagonist, Antonio Luna-Maréz, endures frequent dreams and nightmares that convey what he truly believes. Antonio’s eclectic subconscious thoughts are very often the catalyst for his future reactions and commonly predicts events sure to come. His dreams demonstrate who he truly is, rather than the hollow version of his self that was displayed to his family and friends; apart from his makeshift mentor, Ultima. In slumber, Antonio was truly awake.

The extreme pressures placed on adolescent family heirs can cause great stress that is only released through
From birth, Antonio was taught of the Catholic tradition by his mother, but with the introduction of Ultima, he was mentored in a more profane way of life. Already more inquisitive than the average child, Antonio began to question the intentions of God after witnessing several cruel deaths. He wondered why God would allow for such atrocities to occur. “I am not a God of forgiveness! the Voice roared … Your brother has sinned with the whores, and so I condemn him to hell for eternity!”(Page 173) Antonio’s dream expresses to the audience a sense of resentment for God; he views what is supposed to be the essence of good as evil and vindictive. The irony of him attempting to be a priest for a God he doesn’t truthfully love resonates through the novel as he does his best to please his pious mother and God itself. The religious ambivalence of Antonio is intensified as his friend, Cico, introduces a new, non-Christian god, the golden carp. Cico describes the golden carp as a benevolent and forgiving, which is the opposite of how he viewed the more familiar Christian god. This caused an internal conflict for Antonio that became alive in his dreams. He is scolded by God, accused of worshipping a golden idol, God creates destruction and despair all around Antonio, but in the end of this nightmare, the
Antonio often held contrasting views between his conscious and subconscious mind, but the two distinct beliefs, though very different in nature, had the ability to be peacefully joined with proper guidance and wisdom from the right people. Anyone can follow the faith of their choosing, but this doesn’t guarantee a successful life as demonstrated by the pious characters in Bless Me, Ultima. Saying one has a faith and truly following and believing in the faith will have two very different effects on a life. It is completely up to the individual to balance their life with the secular, spiritual, conscious and subconscious thought to overcome life with the satisfaction of fulfillment; just as Antonio was able to give to