Ricky Suspense Analysis

Story title removed) is a great story. I’m particularly impressed with your pacing, which is the most important aspect of creating suspense in a script. You have the innate ability to utilize the ‘slow reveal’ in your writing, which is a trait that is hard to teach and difficult to master. Instead of giving your audience all the facts from the outset, you take your time letting them rise to surface organically.

However, I have a few suggestions that will help even further strengthen this suspense. While pacing is important, you must also give equal attention to character development. Well-developed characters are going to be what makes all of your suspense worthwhile. In order for the suspense to work to its greatest potential, your
Ricky has the potential to be a superb character. He’s vulnerable, unstable, and chilling. He is a man who instead of being consumed in fiery revenge, becomes calm and methodical in his violence. This fact alone is what makes him terrifying, as well as pitiful. If you can make an audience both loathe and sympathize with your protagonist, you have (in my opinion) done a great thing.

However, the tone of Ricky’s character is inconsistent. In the first scene, there is no hint of any instability in his personality. He’s absolutely normal, almost boring. This is our first introduction to him, and like in real-life, first impressions are very important. When he snaps later in the story – producing a gun, pistol-whipping people on a whim – it seems too abrupt. Ricky needs to earn this violence. I would recommend adding some sort of subtle hint of his instability – of this mental imbalance – in your first
While formatting, in the end, is a personal preference – there are a few things that can make your script read a little more fluidly. First of all, character names only need to be CAPITALIZED the first time we meet them. Also, they never need to be completely capitalized in dialogue. It’s not the end of the world, but it is a little distracting to whomever may be reading your piece. Secondly, your action paragraphs should be broken down by action. For example in your very first action sequence, every one of Ricky’s actions – lighting the candles, checking the meal, grabbing the wine – need their own paragraph. This will help the actor playing Ricky better organize his movements. He’ll be able to glance at the page and rehearse on the fly without needing to shovel through a long