From: Preston Collum
Date: September 15, 2012
Subject: Reflections about Draft 1, Rhetorical Analysis Essay This paper is a literacy memoir about reading in my life. It shows how I went from being a “good” reader to a not so good reader, and how one soccer practice made me look at it from a different view. This paper is very different than any other writing because it is in first person. I have not done a paper in first person in many years, but it was nice to be able to write something about that is about your own life. Every paper that we have done in class has been in third person. It was challenging to make this on in first person. I liked that I could write about an event in my life. However, I was not really sure of how it was going to turn out.
Although my introduction was good, this paper had a variety of mistakes. As I was looking over the paper and seeing what was written from peer review day, I realized that there were a lot of careless mistakes. I looked at both the review from the first and the second drafts to see if I had missed anything. One comment from my reviewer was that I had a lot of repetition. I saw that this paper was very repetitive. I went through and hopefully corrected all of those errors. The font on my paper was not in any form of being right. I am pretty sure that this time I have it right. There were also some punctuation errors that I saw and corrected. I am hoping that I have proofread this paper enough to catch any mistakes that I made in the previous draft.
Even though this paper was about me, it was challenging to write. It took some time to get my thoughts together to write the paper. I also had a hard time getting my thoughts and memories about it onto the paper. After I started writing, my thoughts began to flow. I feel that this paper is much better than the previous one.
I hope that the feedback that I get on this draft is better than the one from the previous paper. I believe there are much fewer mistakes than the first one. I hope that the reviewer reads it and thinks that it is a well-developed paper.
Although this paper is very different than the others I did like writing it. This paper lets the reader have a chance to see an event that happened in your life. I did like how it is related to something that happened in your life to make you or not make you read.
I want to see that this paper is well written. I hope to see that I have corrected the punctuation and repetition errors in this paper. This paper made me think in a completely different way from all of the other papers. I want to see that this one is as good or better than the other writings in class. I felt that this paper has helped me to become a better writer by taking it in a different perspective. I enjoyed writing this paper even though it was so different. It helped me to see the comments from peer review to see what needed to be corrected. I hope that this final draft meets the expectations of the reviewer, and that they can see the corrections that have been made.
Preston C. Collum
Rhetorical Analysis Essay, Draft I
English 1010, 12:00 Class
15 September 2012
The Millennial Shift
Say good-bye to the boss, and hello to the team. A message that is masterfully conveyed in the CBS News 60 Minutes Report (12:30, 2008 video version) “The ‘Millennials’ Are Coming”. This report presents it viewers with a look into the drastic changes occurring in the modern day work force. It covers various topics ranging from how the “Millenial” workers differ from the previous generations; to how modern day bosses are adjusting to this paradigm shift. The use of Ethos, Pathos, and Logos throughout this report solidifies its argument extremely well.
Today’s work force is demanding and spoiled. It’s a message that may be hard to swallow for many of the Millennials that have seen this report. While this generation...