Personal Narrative-The Violinist

I was apart of an Internet group full of women. I was browsing the posts when I came across a fascinating woman and I clicked on her photo. My Person was sitting next to me when he said, “who is that?!” So I clicked on her profile and viewed her photos with him. We looked through pictures of The Violinist. “Wow. She is absolutely stunning.” He said. I agreed. At the time, My Person and I were no longer in a relationship. I wanted space while he was desperately trying to cling onto what little of a relationship we had left. So, without his consent, I wrote her a message with his pictures and a short bio asking her to go on a blind date with him. She said she was in a relationship but it was rocky. I don’t know what possessed me to do this. It just felt
I had no makeup on, my hair was in a pony tail. I was wearing a tank top and cotton shorts that were marked up from the spray tan. When you first get the spray tan, before you take a shower, you’re about 10 shades darker than intended. The orange tinted spray covered my lips and I looked genuinely insane and smelled awful. I pulled up to the restaurant in an uber only to see Tarzan sitting on the outside bench near the door writing in a journal with a pencil. My heart dropped. I frantically asked the uber driver to circle around the block until he left. The uber driver was confused and I didn’t want to inconvenience him so I got out of the car. I had this 4 year old rationality that if I didn’t look at him, he wouldn’t be able to see me. So I kept my eye on the door as I walked past him. I could just feel his eyes on me. I walked through the door and my heart was racing. I was conflicted on how to handle it. I knew this might be my only chance to talk to him but I had never looked worse. As I was waiting in line to order food a guy at the bar randomly handed me a small sticker with a quote from Buddha on it. It read, “You hold