Personal Narrative: A 16 Year Old Girl

“It’s like your hands are tied behind your back. You can train the heck out of your legs but in the end, it won’t matter.”

At one time I was a 16 year old girl who loved life. I enjoyed school, was involved in several extracurricular activities, and most importantly I played the best game on the planet, softball. Long story short, I had my life together, and then something unimaginable happened in July of 2014. I stepped out onto the mound a Friday night in Los Angeles and lost control of the game.

The go to player, the first string pitcher, the girl who had it all going for her watched the game slip away as she walked or hit every girl in the opposing team’s lineup. I began losing confidence as each runner came across home plate, unearned. The little adjustments I made on the first couple batters developed into extremely bad habits. They say after a performance like that you are supposed to bounce back and get right back after it. Coaches say, “It happens to everybody.” Teammates say “Hey shake it off.” The only words I heard were “You deserve this”.
I figured it wouldn’t be hard to get myself back to where I had been even just a week prior. I just needed to clear my head and throw a good bullpen. Or five bullpens. Or 20 bullpens. Or 100+ bullpens. I worked my hardest in practice and on my own day after day for hours to try to get it back, but it wasn’t coming. At times, I thought I was getting worse. Based upon my performances in games following that Friday night, I was