Pathological Liar Monologue

Hello..First of all I want you to know that I thought this well,and did a lot of thinking before I decided to write this message.
It's going to be a long story so please bear with me. I also thought that I might be crazy and had a kind of mental illness ex.Pathological Liar(but I doubt it because I'm sure that I'm not crazy after arguing with myself), after everything
/ included that day we talked for the last time and I promised to your mom. The most logical thing in the world to do is to never think about you again, and yes, please trust me that i did every possible ways included "throw away everything related", and at first, I tried a lot to hate you by think that you're the worst evil in the world and played with my feeling just for fun
I'm sorry If I'm violating your values/moral(I recalled your mbti and I'm aware that you're an INFP), I hate to lie please trust me.
(as an INTP, I also have my values and logics, for me lying as a cause(do bad thing) would logically get a bad result (It's a rule of the world.))
After I researched about my personality type, I became to know that when an INTP having love , an INTP would become irrational and ignore the logics.
And that might explained why I was very irrational back then. And It also applies to my irrational thought of writing this message.

I thought a lot and the results of this message could only be either "Those eyes were true — I got nothing to lose" or "Those eyes were lie — you will be annoyed (That's maybe good for