English for Academic Discourse: 2
Essay1-First Rough Draft
The Key of Overcoming Marginalization
THIS IS IMPORTANT: LOOK CAREFULLY AT WHAT YOU HAVE. ASK YOURSELF IF THERE IS ANY REPETITION? DO YOU FEEL THAT YOU ARE LOOKING AT THE SAME IDEA MORE THAN ONCE? HERE IS A SUGGESTION: YOU WRITE ABOUT SOCIAL POWER. IN BAMBARA, WHAT MIGHT SYLVIA DO WITH SOCIAL POWER? WHAT COULD SHE CHANGE IF SHE HAD IT—AND WHY? COULD SYLVIA MAYBE BECOME AS POWERFUL AS HAROLD BROWNING—OR MORE POWERFUL? Success in America usually depends on family background, family income and other factors. Race, gender and classes have an effect on the way of success. ADD A COUPLE OF SENTENCES HERE TO DEVELOP THIS IDEA In “The Lesson”, the author, Toni Cade Bambara, talks about a group of young children learn a lesson from Miss Moore who receive education and has sense of responsibility for those children. Most of those of children are poor and marginalized. In “class in America”, the author, Gregogy Mantsios, explores that there are many unfair exist in America among different classes. However Miss Moore also mentioned that “It does not have to be that way. In our society, there is no denying that family background, income, race, gender and social standing are the factors of future success, but it should not be determining factors of future success. The determining of future success is education. WHAT CAN AN EDUCATION DO FOR SOMEONE?
The world itself is unfair, so the America Dream is just a myth. Because there are many factors have an effect on the way of people achieve success. Our society is unfair, but everyone has different ways to get success. Mantsios mentioned that everyone has equal chance to succeed. It is true that everyone has right to achieve success as it says in Constitution that everyone create equal. So there is no denying that everyone gets opportunity to achieve success. And in “The lesson”, Sugar refers that equal chance...