11 November 2011
Addiction is a disease that I will battle for the rest of my life. After being sexually assaulted at the age of twelve, I started to self-destruct. Lack of parental support, less than pristine living conditions, and an addictive personality paved an expressway to a life of addiction. I chose to hang with undesirable people, and was introduced to Marijuana, LSD, Ecstasy, PCP, Cocaine, Heroin and eventually what became the love of my life, the prescription painkiller Morphine. Never did I think that trying pot would have a domino effect. It led me to try harder and more addictive substances ultimately turning my life upside down. Often publicly misunderstood, addiction is a complex, physical, and mental disease.
Life for me became one big party after another. My mother was never home, food was never in the refrigerator, and no real structure in my everyday life. Friends who were once my closest friends became part of my past because they did not use drugs. Rave parties provided me with a superficial family which was nothing more than friends that did drugs, and loved music and drugs as much as I did. We were all lost kids, free-spirits, and, looking for somewhere to belong. I would get high before, during, and, after school until I was ultimately expelled. I thought I had found a way to burry my pain. I was only hiding under the fake happiness that is the euphoric feeling of the drugs. The pain was still there, and no amount of drugs would fill that void but only burry it deeper and make it that much harder to deal with later in life.
I began selling drugs more and more to support my habit. What was once a pastime, had now become a necessity. Drugs were my best friend. After numerous failed rehab attempts, I fell into the crowd of drug dealing, bad check writing, conspired with others in many crimes until finally being arrested at the young age of 18. My drug...