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Marital Paradigm

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Marital Paradigm
Marital Paradigm

I grew up in a joint family in India, which had 3 married couple and their kids. Marital relationships that I saw in my family were not great but not bad either. All the men used to work in the family business and the women used to take care of the children and the house. Many times my parents used to fight and my dad used to scream at my mom, but my mom never had the guts to say anything to him. I always saw that my mom was scared of him and I used to question myself why doesn’t she reply back. And being a girl myself I used to think that probably girls cant say anything when theirs husband are screaming at them. I used to talk to my mom and tell her why cant she reply back, but I never really got an answer. I always saw my mom as the weaker one in the relationship. On the other hand we had a family friend and both husband wife used to work as college professors. In their house the husband never screamed at the wife, I am sure they had conflicts but you could totally see the respect that he gave to his wife. When I grew a little bit older my mom started telling me how she felt. That was when she told me that she was a housewife and my dad was the one who earned in the family and thus he could talk like that to my mom. My dad always dominated her as he is the man of the family and is the one responsible for all the decisions of the family. And this was not only my parents I 4saw this trend throughout my family with the other two couples as well. Certain assumptions that I saw in the relationships were that even if it was my dad’s fault, my mom always had to be the first one to apologize. Also since my mom is eight years younger than my dad I saw that my dad didn’t really understand her and took her for granted at times. Bring the older one he tried to impose certain things on her. I also saw that if I tried to calm down my dad he didn’t like it as I was a child and I should not be involved in their matters. This training has had a lot of
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