Lupus Monologue

“You have Lupus,” my Rheumatologist said.
I left the doctor’s office heartbroken by the idea of knowing that this revelation of this disease would keep me from swimming in upcoming competitions. Being diagnosed with Lupus meant I would never be able to swim ever again due to extreme photosensitivity that could lead to rashes and internal organ damage.
I was always known as the girl that would swim so frequently that everyone joked that my personal perfume was chlorine. Swimming was the one thing that I was naturally good at and I always assumed that my future would be swimming in college. In fact, I honestly thought that swimming would get me into college because right before I entered high school I found myself struggling in school.
“You have Lupus,” he said.
I was going to have to fight for my life. There was no way I could give my life to Lupus and let it have me. So the fight began with me stepping down from my roles on the swimming team. I was going to have to discover who I was without swimming. With all the medications and pain that I had to deal with, I found being around friend’s that couldn’t feel the pain was uncomfortable. I hated the overwhelming amounts of sympathy that I faced and I just wanted everyone’s focus of who I was to be anything but the girl that had lupus and could no longer swim anymore.
The moment I knew what my life was going to entail came to like a pile of bricks. I was waiting to see the hematologist and a young child that appeared to have cancer sat in front of me. I remember sitting there and thinking about how much I thought my life sucked. I was so self absorbed into my thoughts of ignorance about my situation until the boy’s mother sat beside