Humorous Wedding Speech Analysis

Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and thank you for coming to support Crystal and Garrett’s special day.

For those who don’t know me, I’m Hailey Thompson, maid of honor and best friend to crystal for many many years

I met crystal when I was little, too little to remember when I met her. But little do you know that we didn’t give each other the time of day. We would go dirt bike riding, snow boarding, and wake boarding together, but never say a word to each other. I never knew that eleven years later I would be here giving a speech at your wedding.

Being this close to crystal, we share many juicy and hilarious secrets. I will spare you guys from those stories because 1) It would take me days to tell them all and 2) because I respect crystal too much to embarrass her on what is supposed to be one of the best days of her life. But, if you happen to catch me anywhere else, the embarrassing stories are fair game.
I can’t find the words to describe our friendship because it’s too odd for people to understand. We fight like sister, but always find a way back to each other. We have always said that God made us best friends because our moms couldn’t handle us as sisters, and to this day I still believe that’s true. We’ve had some crazy adventures, like our sleepovers and summer vacations. We have our inside jokes and think we’re hilarious. That’s why we’re sisters, because nobody else would understand, and nobody else seems to get just how cool and hilarious we really