The Mystique of Not Seeing Everything
Don’t do anything in front of your husband that you wouldn’t do in front of a guest (pick your nose, pass gas, adjust your nylons, pick a wedgie, adjust your bra, use the restroom, etc.). Yes, he will see you get dressed in the morning, which a guest would not see, but be careful to never get so “comfortable” with him, that you show him your grosser actions. If you managed to behave well before you married him, you can keep it up. To violate this, diminishes you in his eyes, and frankly, diminishes him in yours. If you act better in front of strange men than you do your husband, you will eventually respect them more than you respect your husband. By the same token, try not to talk in detail about your period or other bodily functions unless you absolutely have to. It isn’t that you are ashamed or your body, it’s just that he really doesn’t want to hear about it, and frankly, by being a little discrete you can transform some rather base aspects of being human into just another element to your feminine mystery. Familiarity breeds contempt. Discretion enhances the sense of mystique, the strange and marvelous feminine mysteries that a men don’t really understand. Don’t take him with you for advice when you are getting fitted for a bra. Don’t let him see all the little steps that go into the finished product. Not that you can’t ever groom yourself with him in the room, just be mindful of what you are displaying. Putting on a spritz of perfume while he watches, can be alluring. Putting on control top pantyhose? Not so much. If it isn’t an attractive step, very discretely work things around so that you are in private when you get to that part. Don’t be obvious that you are shutting him out, just engineer it so that he isn’t there for those things. Also by not doing something things around him, he is never confronted with the fact that you aren’t naturally the way you appear in the end. Of course he knows that your eyebrows aren’t naturally perfect, your nails naturally shaped and polished, your armpits naturally hairless (now shaving your legs can be rather sexy, but it is harder to shave your pits in a sexy fashion), and your teeth clean and white. His head knows these things, but until he is confronted with the process of how it becomes that way, it is still a bit of a mystery. Have you ever been fascinated by something, and then learned about how it was done or made, and then it lost all its mystery? Why do we buy fancy products when we have simple ingredients around the house which are not only cheaper, but often work better? There is a fascination to a fancy package, a promise, an alluring name, and contents that you don’t quite fully understand. While this can work against us with household products, you can put this phenomenon to work for you with your personal habits. In the same vein, there are some unbecoming jobs that are necessary for daily life. It’s not the end of the world if her sees you do them, but by connecting yourself with them, you slightly diminish yourself. It doesn’t paint you in the most flattering light for him to see you cleaning the toilet or scrubbing the kitchen floor. It’s not a big deal, but if you can find ways to do those less attractive tasks when he isn’t around, do it. Now if he does see something you would rather have concealed (which he inevitably will from time to time), don’t get flustered or embarrassed. Don’t push him out of the room or try to hide. Be poised, be collected, be graceful, and discretely put aside what you are doing and move to something else. Try not to address it at all, just smoothly go on. You weren’t doing anything wrong, you would just prefer to wait until you have some privacy, to resume what you were doing. Another benefit of this is that when you reserve the less attractive parts of your daily life to be done in private, you also have a sense of reserving a little part of yourself. This is not a negative thing. We aren’t...
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