Homelessness Satire

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It is a melancholy hearing about the issue of homelessness worldwide. There are countless homeless people on the streets of these large cities. So we ask ourselves; why are people still without homes when new jobs are being created everyday or when unemployment still has not reached zero? This seems to be an ever haunting problem even though it would be so easy to erase it. I think we have reached our limits of dealing with thousands of homeless people blocking doorsteps and sidewalks disturbing us with their begging hands. While most claim to use the money we provide them to buy food or shelter, most will use it feed their addictions. Do you want your money being spent on cigarettes and alcohol? Why should we have to give them our spare change when we have new clothes to buy, vacations to take or gas tanks to fill? Research shows that in the United States 43% of homeless people are single males and 33% of homeless people are families with children. While the majority of the homeless are 45 years old. As well, 1 in 4 homeless are veterans; that’s 26% of all homeless people. In addition, it is proven that an estimated 100 million people are homeless worldwide. That’s equal to the population of Mexico alone. That’s one quarter of the population trying to strip us of our money. That’s one quarter of our population polluting our streets and taking up space. In Canada alone there are up to 300 000 people begging us for spare change. While in our very own Hamilton, there are up to 2000 individuals sleeping on our park benches and in our alleyways. To end this world-wide crisis, I have created a solution that will not only put an end to the misery of these individuals but will also help scientists advance in their research and benefit our population as a whole. As it is cruel and absolutely wrong to experiment on animals, why not test on these savages who are useless to our nation? They have done nothing for us and would only be useful through scientific...
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