What Does It Take to be Good Parents?
Good morning ladies and gentlemen. I am Chong Cia Ling, the founder of Brainy Montessori. I am so grateful to have such an honour standing here to deliver my speech entitled “What does it take to be good parents?”. I am sure all the parents here will agree with me that being parents is tough. Bringing up children is a very difficult task. Everyone wishes to be good parents. However, sometimes we could be so discouraged and helpless when we get the feedback that we are not good parents although we have done our upmost to provide the best for our children. What is the cause of that? Today, let us learn how to be good parents together. A parent is said to be a good parent only after seeing how he has brought up his children. They should bring up the children in a very good discipline. However, we need to bear in mind that discipline does not mean that they have to punish their children for every wrong doing. Recently there is a famous video of a Texas judge hitting his teenage daughter repeatedly with a belt. This father justified his actions as “discipline.” I beg to differ. According to the video, the father is not disciplining his daughter. He is engaging in an act of punishment intent on hurting, humiliating and controlling her! Well, it is common that children do mistakes. Yet, what a good parent must do is he has to teach him how to differentiate what is good and what is bad. We need to understand that giving punishment especially physical punishment will not help children in a way instead it will create new problems. Indeed, it hurts. For instance, children will become rebellious as they have already got used to the corporal punishment. Eventually, they will develop hatred towards their parents. Deborah Sendek (2011) also claims that physical punishment is ineffective in parenting. It can easily escalate and cross the line to abuse and serious injury, particularly when an instrument is used. Children become emotionally alienated from parent who hits them frequently. Research also shows that physical punishment makes it more likely that children will be defiant and aggressive in the future. These research findings have been endorsed by many prominent organizations, including the American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Medical Association, Voices for America's Children, the National PTA, and the International Society for Prevention of Child Abuse and Neglect that advocate against corporal punishment. We cannot deny that children need guidance and discipline but what works? Effective discipline helps a child to develop self-control by teaching, guiding, modeling and explaining what is wrong and what to do instead. Effective discipline starts with our attitudes about children and their behaviour. Redirection, discipline or punishment must include an explanation of why a behavior is unacceptable and what behavior is expected. Many times a child's misbehavior is a mistake in judgment. In contrast, we hope our own mistakes serve as learning opportunities. We need to apply this same rule to children. We must curb our anger and allow time to think about what we want to teach. Positive and proactive discipline strategies work from toddlers to teenagers. In today’s society, parents always have no time for children and thus, they hire maids to take care of children and give them what they want. In this way, parents feel that they have fulfilled their duty but it is not true! According to Duncan, making a child feel cherished is the single most important quality of an effective parent. It is also proved that in child development, kids who feel loved and cherished thrive. Duncan recommends spending time with your children doing what she wants to do. Every child needs to feel a sense of love and parents must love wisely. For example, play your child favourite game and read together. Besides, parents should be like friends to their children. They have to discuss everything and spend...
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