Get a Knife, Get a Dog, but Get Rid of Guns

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Ima Student
Mrs. T. Chur
English 1301
12 November 2009
Molly Ivins and Her Crazy Gun Theory
            Molly Ivins, in her Op-Ed called, “Get a Knife, Get a Dog, but Get Rid of Guns,” argues for an absolute abolition of civilian gun ownership.             Ivins begins her argument with a sarcastic attitude toward gun laws in the United States. She calls herself “not antigun,” but immediately announces that she is “proknife.” She seems at first to offer an unbiased view, claiming not to want to outlaw guns completely, but when she admits to thinking people should simply replace guns with knives, she reveals her humor with almost a slap in the face. Ivins continues with a healthy view against guns and in favor of knives, which would “promote physical fitness” as a person would have to chase down his or her victim in order to commit a stabbing. She almost takes a stab at the obesity problem our nation of gun owners has created, making fun of the relative laziness of using a gun to solve problems. Her point that “knives don’t ricochet” further emphasizes her idea of the superiority of knives as weapons. Here, though lightheartedly, she addresses the tragic outcomes of accidental shootings by mentioning how unlikely accidental stabbings would be. While Ivins demonstrates her humorous, sarcastic flavor in the first section of her article, her tone shifts subtly to a more serious attitude in the next.             Molly Ivins declares her frustration with gun laws and gun advocates in the next section of her article. She claims that guns, just like cars, are known to “wreak great carnage,” but are still legal, even for people without “enough common sense” to use them properly. She addresses here the common counterargument that cars are just as dangerous as guns, but no one questions whether they should be legal. However, she ultimately responds to that argument with the point that at least cars have some other use than violence, which is the only purpose of a...
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