Props: Bandage for Duke's eye. (Begin with Duke on stage by himself. He has a
patch on his eye.)
Duke: Dude! What was I thinking. Oh, my achin' head.
Robbie: (Enters.) Hey Duke! How are you doing? Ooh, that's quite a black eye
you've got there. What happened?
Duke: (Way more subdued and humble than usual.) Oh, hey Rob. Dude, it is a long,
Robbie: Well, I'm not going anywhere so go ahead and tell me.
Duke: Well, ok... since you insist. You know how in the Bible there's that part
about the fruits of the spirit?
Robbie: Sure, that's in Galatians chapter 5 verses 22 and 23! There are nine of
'em. The Fruits of the Spirit.
Duke: Yeah, well I think my fruit is rotten. At least so far I'm not doing too
good at growing fruit if you catch my drift.
Robbie: What are you trying to say Duke? Start from the beginning.
Duke: (Proudly) "In the beginning, God created the Heaven and the Earth!"
(pauses) Genesis 1:1
Robbie: No, no no. Start from the beginning of how you got the black eye.
Duke: Oh. That. Well, there I was, ok? Readin' the Bible about the fruit of the
spirit. It listed em all out. There was love and joy and peace and patience and
all the rest. So I figured I would try to show a different one to my friends
Robbie: Well, that sounds like a great idea Duke. How could that give you a
Duke: Well, the first fruit of the spirit was like, LOVE. So I went to school
and I said to myself "Duke! You need to show some love to the first person you
see today!" So I did. The first person I saw at school was Lori "The Bruiser"
Robbie: The only girl allowed to play on the boy's football team?
Duke: Because she is bigger than all of the boys put together! Yep that's the
Duke: Ch-Yah! It took all my courage but I says "Here goes nothin'!" and I
puckered up and kissed her on the cheek.
Robbie: Kissed her? What for?
Duke: Isn't that what love is? Kissing and hugging and being mushy?
Robbie: Well, not really. What happened after you kissed her.
Duke: Isn't it obvious, Sherlock? She decked me! She punched me out! Dotted my
'I'! Cleaned my clock!
Robbie: She hit you?
Duke: Yeah buddy. That's the last time I try to show love to someone.
Robbie: Duke, Duke, Duke.
Duke: What, what, what?
Robbie: Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke.
Duke: What, what, what, what, what?
Robbie: Duke, Duke, Duke...
Robbie: Sorry. It's just that I think you might have misunderstood what the
Bible was saying about love. Love is a...