Fort Caspar Monologue

The nerve of some people! I can't believe it! Today we arrived at Fort Caspar,and we set up camp. As we were doing so, two of the cows, Mabel and iola, wandered off. It wasn’t such a big deal, as Jesse found them in a matter of minutes, but to Paul it was the end of everything. He let loose on Jesse for not doing his job correctly and at ben for not watching the cows closer, and then even and me for weighing him down on this trip! Honestly, I don’t see his logic there. I am doing no such thing as weigh him down, and the boys are doing the best they can. I saw it again, the crazy that lives somewhere within my husband, and I began to fear him. What a terrible thing for me to do. I should have more faith in him. He got angrier when he saw me
It seems that with all that is happening, I am just too tired to write much. That said, I will try and catch up. Our oxen, who are already tired from these few months of walking, are exhausted with these mountain grounds. Paul and the other men decided that we all must make a sacrifice, and dump some of our belongings to keep up speed. So him and I took a look in the back to see what we could spare, and for the first time in what seems like years, we agreed on something. My mothers chest had to go. It was a hard goodbye for my father, but he still has her portrait, so that helped. We left it on the side of the trail. It was so odd, seeing on of the last parts of my mother we have, sitting among weeds and dust. But we had no choice, it had to be done. Caroline has to walk much more now, because we can't afford any more stress on the oxen. All of our feet -hurt tremendously, and there are holes where our toes poke out of our shoes. Another big tragedy struck just a few days after Magdoline. Dan, her husband, lost control of his wagon for the first time in a while. This time was bad though. He got run over by his own wheels. He must not have been focused, still mourning for the lose of his wife. His daughter, Eve, saw the whole thing. I felt so bad for her losing both of her parents so close together, I convinced Paul to let her stay with us. Everyone felt terrible, even Paul was shaken up. So we have taken Eve in, and I am beginning to worry. She hasn't spoken a word since her mother's death, and she hardly eats anymore. I let her sleep in the tent with Caroline and I. I would hate for her to get sick. I figure it’s our duty to get Eve through this, and to take care of her when her parents can't. Not that I feel like much of a good mother anymore. These last few nights i have been sneaking off with Nate . At first we just talk, but now he kisses me goodnight every time we part. I know it is wrong