Everett Gray Monologue

Everett Gray couldn’t tell you the last time he could properly breathe. Even during hockey competitions, there had always been an issue where he couldn’t quite get the amount of air that he really needed to keep going. Sweat would run down his cold skin, as he pulled at the collar of his uniform. His chest would heave, yet all the air seemed to get stuck in his throat, turning into a suffocating lump. He felt his phone vibrating in his pocket, but he refused to make a move to look at the messages being sent. The ruffled bed sheets wrinkled as he turned away from the device, as small wheezes could be heard coming from his voice. It was probably the group chat congratulating his best friend. Carl James was engaged to Clarissa Monet. It was hard for him to believe, and he didn’t want to believe it either. He couldn’t stand seeing her, all
Of course, Everett had counted each one. Each time, he spent the day locked up in his room, refusing to leave until he had calmed down. His phone screen stared up at him, notifications from his friends all going ignored. He sank into his mattress, the harsh noises coming from his mouth rasping into the air. He shut his eyes, squeezing them together, before suddenly running to the bathroom, leaning over the toilet helplessly as he emptied all his body contained, which wasn’t enough to start with. In the beginning, it had all started innocently enough. Last minute cancels in order to take Clarissa on a date, but he would make it up the next day. Then weeks ahead of the event, he would call Everett with the same story, that she wasn’t free on any other day, and that he just had to be able to see her again, that he would be a terrible boyfriend if he were to leave her alone. And then he would say it’s okay, that he was thinking about doing something that day anyways, that he should go to her, it’s fine, when it really