Divorce Draft

Always cause and effects are existent together. They are like the pair that can’t existent without each other. Why do people get married,? the answer for this question is people love each other. Because of loving each other, people get marriage. However, why do people get divorced,? the answers for this question are variety and different. In general, People have the negative prejudice against the divorce. Before judge divorce as only bad way, we should think about why people get divorced and what factors affected them to get divorced. If we perceive the divorce in positive side, divorce or having separated time will influence positively following by the reasons for the divorce like parental high-conflict marriage will be better to be separated for children. High-conflict influences negative effect to their children so it will be better for them to have separated time for their children. At this point, it is possible to see the positive effect of the divorce especially on their children.
As divorce rate is increasing, we have to focus more on what factors cause people to get divorced and how divorce affects to children. Estimating how divorce affect to children is depends on the factors that influenced on divorce. Hence, those factors can be the answer for estimating weather divorce can be the beneficial way for children or harmful way for children. Therefore, people have to get rid of one’s prejudice against the divorce and view divorce in positive way with open minds and open eyes. There are many factors that influence to divorce. The reasons for divorcing are different personalities , marriage at an early age, a short knowledge to each other before marriage, limited economic resources, lived with parents who are divorced and had unhappy marriage, domestic violence and so on. The most effective factor is different personalities between men and women. If people have different personalities, they easily get fighting, and there are gap between each other; therefore high-conflict is exist.
People have negative prejudice against the divorce because it is true that parental divorce can harm the children in many ways and divorce influence negatively to children. In the article “Postdivorce Family Stability and Changes in Adolescents' Academic Performance," Sun, Youngmin and Yuanzhang Li explains the negative effect of the divorce on children that “Meanwhile, residential changes accompanying parental divorce are also likely to cut off a family’s social ties to friends, other parents, and school personnel, all of which may further lower children’s chances for educational success (Amato, 1993; Coleman, 1988)” (Sun et al, 4). We can easily find many evidences that showing the negative effect of the divorce, and showing how harmful it is. Having two parents is the best family structure for children and blessing for them; therefore, parental divorce can take this blessing away from children. Even though there is best family structure, the condition of the family is more important. Happiness, love, peace, and stability are requisites for happy family. Without them, it will be meaningless even though there is best family structure.
Staying in problems like parental abusing and parental high-conflict marriage can harms the children in different way. These problems might bring unhappiness, instability, confliction in family. Especially, parental high-conflict affect negatively to children so it will be better if parents have the separated time for their children to find the stability. Throughout this fact, it is hard to define divorce as only bad thing but also it has the bright and positive side in some reasons especially to children. In the article “Just Whom Is This Divorce ‘Good’ For,” Elizabeth Marquardt explained the negative effect of the parental high-conflict marriage and how it affect on children. She states that even though children got away from parental high-conflict marriage, the negative effects of the parental high-conflict remains on them like they struggle with a range of symptoms like anxiety, depression, and problems in school (Elizabeth, 1). This evidence leads up to the argument that staying in parental high-conflict marriage can affect negatively to children. In the article “Comparing the Effects of Amount of Conflict on Children's Adjustment Following Parental Divorce," Bing states the effect of the parental high-conflict on children that “Parents’ irresolvable differences and continue to fight should result in poor child adjustment. Also children can experience conduct disorders, antisocial behaviors, difficulty relating to peers, difficulty with authority figures, depression and academic and achievement problems” (Bing et al,3 and 4).
In addition, parental high conflict affects to children negatively so the divorce or legally separated period can be wise way and beneficial for the children than keep them in family which filled with unhappiness and confliction. However, this fact can be unfamiliar with people who view the divorce with negative eyes and who think having both parents is the best family structure for children. Divorce is the better solution and benefit for the children instead of they are staying in parental high-conflict marriage. In the article “Parental Divorce and College Students: The Impact of Family Unpredictability and Perceptions of Divorce,” Ross, Lisa Thomson, and Julie Roberts Miller stated the positive effect of the divorce that “Research also suggests that high-conflict parental marriages that remain intact have long-term detrimental effects on young adults (Amato et al., 1995). This suggests that children in families with high inter parental conflict might be better off if their parents’ divorce than if they remain married” (Ross et al, 4). The family structure and circumstance are very important for the children. If we keep the flower in one dark space without the sunshine, flower will be wilted and lose its life. As like this, having legally separated time or get divorce will be sunshine for children who lived under the parental high-conflict which brought unhappiness and instability to children.
People have the negative perspective about the divorce because divorce is the tool that people are using to end their marriage. Family is the main group unit of society so it is important to keep the family; furthermore, keeping the family with happiness, peace, and love is important than just keeping the family in unhappiness and instability because condition of the family is important for children. However, people have their own problems in marriage life and some people cope with these problems and overcome them together but some people face with limitation of solving these problems and remain in stressful marriage life. For children, keeping the family in happiness, peace, love, and stability is important so it will be better for parents are separated if it can help the children. Hence, divorce can be the solution for these problems especially for parental high-conflict marriage. In the article, “Teens and Divorce: What Hurts and What Helps?,” Jacqueline J. Kirby and Katherine Dean state the positive effect of the divorce to children that “Despite many adjustment difficulties, adolescents also show some positive changes such as an impressive development of maturity and moral growth, a more realistic understanding of finances, and a chance to experience new family roles and responsibilities” (Jacqueline J. Kirby and Katherine, 1). Some causes can bring negative effect but some cause can bring positive effect like divorce can bring negative effect but also can bring positive effect to the children. It is really important parents’ aspects toward their children that they have to think carefully how their action and their relationship affect to their children. If parents are in high-conflict marriage that they remained for a long time, they have to think carefully which way will be better for their children- staying in marriage or separating for children.