Critiqued Essay on Defective Product

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1) Critique the essay and explain, point by point, what is wrong with the essay; and
2) Re-write (salvage) the essay in a style and format that is appropriate for a legal document. Note that this is NOT a research assignment. You need not look up the cases cited. You can assume that the cases cited are at least appropriate for the propositions that they purport to support. The only thing you need to do with regard to the cases is cite them correctly.

This story is replete with fascinating facts and the intricacies that are inherent in the facts of the case make for a great story. The baseball bat was broken from the outset when it was bought by the plaintiff. Therefore, the defendant should have to return the baseball bat and pay the money back to the plaintiff that plaintiff paid for said bat. The plaintiff bought a baseball bat from the defendant and the baseball bat turned out to be broken since as soon as the defendant used the bat to play baseball, the bat shattered into a million pieces. Shattering into a million pieces certainly violates the implied warranty of merchantability under the Uniform Commercial Code (“U.C.C.”). INDUSTRIA DE CALCADOS MARTINI LTDA. v. MAXWELL SHOE CO., INC. No. 92-P-1322 APPEALS COURT OF MASSACHUSETTS 36 Mass. App. Ct. 268; 630 N.E.2d 299; 1994 Mass. App. LEXIS 274; 23 U.C.C. Rep. Serv. 2d (Callaghan) 89 December 20, 1993, Argued March 21, 1994, Decided. Also, there’s a case that expounded upon this issue and told us that a baseball bat can’t crack when it’s used normally. Otherwise, the store has to give back the money to the plaintiff. Laurence Dudzik et al., Plaintiffs, v. Klein's All Sports, Defendant. SC# 92-390 JUSTICE COURT OF NEW YORK, TOWN OF COLONIE, ALBANY COUNTY 158 Misc. 2d 72; 600 N.Y.S.2d 1013; 1993 N.Y. Misc. LEXIS 272; 21 U.C.C. Rep. Serv. 2d (Callaghan) 592 June 9, 1993, Decided.

The extrapolation that can be clearly drawn from these cases is that is a plaintiff buys a baseball bat, the said bat must be in that condition that was represented to the heretofore named parties. At least, the bat must be in sufficient marketable condition so that the implied warranty owing from the party of the first part to the party of the second part must be sustained. Also, as if those cases weren’t enough, the U.C.C. demands that goods must be in good condition when they are sold. I can’t show exactly where in the U.C.C. it says this, but that’s the general feeling I got from reading the U.C.C.

MISTAKES MADE IN THE ESSAY

1. The essay is not in correct format. IRAC method is not used.

2. Punctuation errors are contained in this essay as well as grammar errors.

A. The first paragraph contains more than one subject. It is too long. It contains “run on” sentences. There are slang words throughout the essay. It contains too many big words and legal language (such as “said” bat.) There is “exaggeration” of word usage such as “The bat shattered into a million pieces.” The writer should stick to the “facts” of the case and not “opinions.”

3. Repetitiveness. The story is repeated more than once.

4. Incorrect citation is used.

A. INDUSTRIA DE CALCADOS MARTINI LTDA. v. MAXWELL SHOE CO., INC. No. 92-P-1322 APPEALS COURT OF MASSACHUSETTS 36 Mass. App. Ct. 268; 630 N.E.2d 299; 1994 Mass. App. LEXIS 274; 23 U.C.C. Rep. Serv. 2d (Callaghan) 89 December 20, 1993, Argued March 21, 1994, Decided. Laurence Dudzik et al., Plaintiffs, v. Klein's All Sports, Defendant. SC# 92-390 JUSTICE COURT OF NEW YORK, TOWN OF COLONIE, ALBANY COUNTY 158 Misc. 2d 72; 600 N.Y.S.2d 1013; 1993 N.Y. Misc. LEXIS 272; 21 U.C.C. Rep. Serv. 2d (Callaghan) 592 June 9, 1993, Decided.

The citations are reversed as to the cases and how each relates to our subject at hand. The citations are in capital letters. Too much information is included in the citations (incorrect format). The citations are neither italicized nor underlined.

5. Important parts of “Rule” and “analysis” are left out....
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