Conflict Management Essay

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Over the past few weeks there was one major conflict that I will discuss in this essay. It was

an ongoing and detailed conflict which needed to be resolved through a mediation process. It all

started the day that the children’s father decided not to show up for several visitations

requirements. I had felt that the constant disappointment was enough for the children so I text

him a message to say not to bother picking up the children anymore. He did not like this and

started to turn up to my doorstep late at night. He was quite angry and was bashing down the

door and yelling. I didn’t open the door I just rang the police as the children was scared by his

reaction. The police had arrived after the children’s father left my house and I filed a police

report to protect myself and the children from him coming to the house late at night and being

abusive towards us. While the police was I was feeling very anxious and overwhelmed by the

whole incident. I was talking quite quickly and very nervous, as I was fidgeting whilst telling

them the details of what had happened. At this stage I don’t think I handled my emotions at all

well as I was very flustered and couldn’t think properly. Whilst the police was here I did achieve

the skill of active listening as they explained what I needed to do and how to go about doing it

all. I didn’t interrupt as they was speaking as I usually do when people speak and I sat there

taking it all in and didn’t respond until the police officer had spoken. Active listening has three

purposes when managing conflict 1. To gain information, 2. To affirm and 3. To respond to

inflammation and bring down high emotional states. We benefit from active listening because it

ensures us that we are getting all the information that we need and so that we can be heard. I

also repeated back to the police officer what she had said to me to make sure I had understood

her correctly. At that stage I also reflected back on the situation with the police officer as to how

I could of handled things a little bit better for example not to send text messages to him and only

talk to him either in person or on the phone. This will also prevent any other person getting

involved, and me insuring I’m only talking to him.

At this stage my abilities to be assertive with their father was not done very

well but I did manage to get my point across to the police. Assertive behaviour communicates

feelings, needs and beliefs of a person. It is important to be assertive so they you can express

your needs and others can have an opportunity to know how u feel. In this conflict spoken about

above, my conflict behaviour was fight: aggressive. I didn’t care about the fathers needs or

concerns at this stage, as I thought I was doing the best for the children. I took the I win , u lose

situation to start with as I suppose if let like I had control over the situation , which is quite

obvious I didn’t at the time. Then I took the flow: assertive as we took it to court and then was

directed to undertake mediation to resolve this situation in a more reasonable way without the

children present to hear any of it. In many of my conflicts throughout the past eight weeks I

have always started with the Fight: aggressive behaviour (Holier, Murray & Cornelius H (2004).

As Eunson (2007) explains different approaches in dealing with conflict, I then took a different

approach and went through the mediation process.

As we moved on to the mediation process to resolve our dispute, I made sure I was

focused; I knew what I wanted to say and was calm going into the mediation. I needed to change

my approach to this conflict in order to get the results that I wanted from it. As (Holier, Murray

& Cornelius (2004) explains different approaches to conflict management and behaviours; I

knew I need to go into it...
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