Chapter Three, Part B: The Ownership Cycle: Conflict
CHAPTER THREE, Part b: The Ownership Cycle – Conflict
There will be conflicts in life. How do we resolve these with the best possible outcome?
What Can we Do?
What Should we Do?
Is there a difference between what you Can Do and what you Should Do?
Definitely. Remember, we have many choices in how we spend our time and energy – there is a lot we Can Do. The issue is to pick the correct choice – what you Should Do.
This holds true for All Roles in the Ownership cycle, and is most evident when there is a conflict – the stakes are high, the situation tense.
The answer to what you Should Do: Own your Role in the Conflict. Let us look at Sam and Don again. Sam has misplaced the ball that Don lent to him. Don is unhappy. The tables below represent the Ownership Cycle in action: …show more content…
This is a one-off event.” Own the Reality that he is Don’s friend and lost the ball:
“I lost the ball.”
Apologise. Find out how to replace the ball
Disown his Role as Communicator:
Fight, ignore Don’s communication Own his Role as Communicator:
Watch and listen to Don, recognise Don’s unhappiness, find out how to replace the ball
Disown his Learning about the Personal Weakness that led to the loss of the ball: Perhaps he forgot where he left it, but he won’t fix that.
Then he loses more objects that others lend to him. Own his Learning about the Personal Weakness that led to the loss of the ball:
“What made me lose the ball? How did I forget where I left it?”
Sam can pay more attention to returning the ball back to a safe place each day after he is done playing with it.
Let us not forget Don:
What Don Can Do What Don Should Do: What He Owns
Disown the Reality that he is Sam’s Friend and lent him the ball:
“Sam lost the ball. What a horrible guy.” Own the Reality that he is Sam’s friend and lent him the
There will be conflicts in life. How do we resolve these with the best possible outcome?
What Can we Do?
What Should we Do?
Is there a difference between what you Can Do and what you Should Do?
Definitely. Remember, we have many choices in how we spend our time and energy – there is a lot we Can Do. The issue is to pick the correct choice – what you Should Do.
This holds true for All Roles in the Ownership cycle, and is most evident when there is a conflict – the stakes are high, the situation tense.
The answer to what you Should Do: Own your Role in the Conflict. Let us look at Sam and Don again. Sam has misplaced the ball that Don lent to him. Don is unhappy. The tables below represent the Ownership Cycle in action: …show more content…
This is a one-off event.” Own the Reality that he is Don’s friend and lost the ball:
“I lost the ball.”
Apologise. Find out how to replace the ball
Disown his Role as Communicator:
Fight, ignore Don’s communication Own his Role as Communicator:
Watch and listen to Don, recognise Don’s unhappiness, find out how to replace the ball
Disown his Learning about the Personal Weakness that led to the loss of the ball: Perhaps he forgot where he left it, but he won’t fix that.
Then he loses more objects that others lend to him. Own his Learning about the Personal Weakness that led to the loss of the ball:
“What made me lose the ball? How did I forget where I left it?”
Sam can pay more attention to returning the ball back to a safe place each day after he is done playing with it.
Let us not forget Don:
What Don Can Do What Don Should Do: What He Owns
Disown the Reality that he is Sam’s Friend and lent him the ball:
“Sam lost the ball. What a horrible guy.” Own the Reality that he is Sam’s friend and lent him the