Betrayal: Race and Black Women

To this day interracial dating has been an issue all around the world. Particularly, in places such as China and India they are strict about going outside of their class to date or marry. But most of all many black women feel that many or even all black men are being stolen by the Caucasian women. Most black women believe that it is best for there to be pure black couples so the generation can evolve. Others say that while that black women are angry because they have been hurt by black men leaving them for women. But my opinion, like others, is that I don’t really care as much or even bother to think about interracial couples. The essay, “Betrayal” by Bebe Campbell is about a group of women coming to a cafe and they see a black man walking in with a white woman, and they are full of fury. Bebe Campbell speaks in depth about the subject of interracial couples and the fury of black women. My reaction toward interracial couples is different from Bebe Campbell; because I believe in freedom of choice, self-acceptance, and ownership. In some places, there is no choice of who you can date or marry. For example, if you were from a family of strict Asian descent and you wanted to date outside your race you probably would be forbidden by your parents to do so. Usually their customs is to date and have an arranged marriage with their own ethnicity. I understand the fact that some countries follow a certain custom, but there should always be a freedom of choice in who you want to date. Also, some towns in the Deep South wouldn’t even dare to date the opposite race because there is still racism and terrorism going on. Those places are still to this day segregated by race in every way so they believe it’s best to keep blacks with blacks and whites with whites. However, in the past most black people believed that they should couple in their own ethnicity to keep pure black families and strong black couples alive. There is nothing wrong with that choice either because there are lots of mixed citizens being formed rather than people of pure descent. But most of all there is no law that says you have to date or marry within your own race. Self-acceptance may be the biggest issue in some relationships. In the essay, “Betrayal”, Campbell says that many black women say their pain and hatred comes from black men abandoning them for other women. That might not be the true issue with their relationship. It could be that they didn’t have confidence in themselves and was full of jealousy that the relationship just fell apart. She also says that black women feel like being left by a white woman is similar to if you were rejected for prom. In my opinion, it doesn’t have to do with the race that causes hatred, it is just the fact that you are being left for another woman. If I was in a relationship with a black man and he left me for a white woman I would be mad, not at white women in general but I would wonder why he left me for someone else. The hatred of interracial dating is in every different race because they believe they have ownership over the opposite sex of their ethnicity. Confidence in yourself and in your relationship would be the cure to all of this hatred because it doesn’t have to do with race; it is your own conflict. You don’t necessarily have to own the opposite sex of your race, but you should have ownership in your private relationship. Having concern in other people and your relationship won’t help anything but harm yourself. It could be a pure black couple, white couple, or Hispanic couple that is together but you should never feel like you own your race’s opposite sex. I think the issue is that some women or men that are single worry too much about the “Jungle Fever” of other relationships that they want to form hatred for the other race. That is most likely the reason they are single now. Ownership of your partner is the only type of ownership you should have dealing with the opposite sex. To sum up, “Betrayal”, by Bebe Campbell is from a different perspective of what I feel about interracial dating. She always had a problem because she had self-esteem problems when she was little but made peace with it as she grew older. Hatred in men and women can be put upon another race because you are feeling lonely yourself and have your own issues to work out. There is no law in America that says you should date in your own race. Interracial couples probably will always be an issue but it’s up to you to have your own opinion. Freedom of choice, self-acceptance, and ownership are the keys to easing off of bad emotions towards interracial dating.