Attachment Styles and Relationships
Attachment Styles and Relationships
Christina White
PSY/220
April 28, 2013
As human being there is the thought that love is difficult to understand. Why are some people attracted to the people that they are attracted to and what is it that draws them to each other? Understanding the dimensions of love and knowing attachment styles clear up some of the confusion. There are three dimensions of love: intimacy, passion, and commitment. These are known as the triangular theory of love (Sternberg, 1986, 1987).
Intimacy refers to mutual understanding, warm affection, and mutual concern for the others welfare (Baumgardner, 2009). Intimacy is imperative to a relationship if it is going to last. With intimacy there is a bond or a closeness between a couple. If a couple has intimacy, they are connected on more of an emotional level than a couple who only experiences passion. Intimate couples have more of a chance to move on to commitment as well. While intimacy is a big step toward commitment, having intimacy does not necessarily mean that there will be commitment on anyone’s part. There may be nothing more to the relationship other than the passion and intimacy which is romantic love. As long as neither person plans to be with this person for a long time there is not a commitment.
Passion means strong emotion, excitement, and physical arousal, often tied to sexual desire and attraction (Baumgardner, 2009). Passion can be lustful infatuation but is also an important element to a happy and strong relationship. A relationship without any of these components could be in danger of dissolving, however, in our society today, sex and passion is very important. The importance placed on sex by society is taught to children early in life, most before they know what it is. A couple without passion could lose the bond they have created through intimacy without any passion and risk them falling out of love.
Commitment is the conscious decision to stay in a relationship for the
Christina White
PSY/220
April 28, 2013
As human being there is the thought that love is difficult to understand. Why are some people attracted to the people that they are attracted to and what is it that draws them to each other? Understanding the dimensions of love and knowing attachment styles clear up some of the confusion. There are three dimensions of love: intimacy, passion, and commitment. These are known as the triangular theory of love (Sternberg, 1986, 1987).
Intimacy refers to mutual understanding, warm affection, and mutual concern for the others welfare (Baumgardner, 2009). Intimacy is imperative to a relationship if it is going to last. With intimacy there is a bond or a closeness between a couple. If a couple has intimacy, they are connected on more of an emotional level than a couple who only experiences passion. Intimate couples have more of a chance to move on to commitment as well. While intimacy is a big step toward commitment, having intimacy does not necessarily mean that there will be commitment on anyone’s part. There may be nothing more to the relationship other than the passion and intimacy which is romantic love. As long as neither person plans to be with this person for a long time there is not a commitment.
Passion means strong emotion, excitement, and physical arousal, often tied to sexual desire and attraction (Baumgardner, 2009). Passion can be lustful infatuation but is also an important element to a happy and strong relationship. A relationship without any of these components could be in danger of dissolving, however, in our society today, sex and passion is very important. The importance placed on sex by society is taught to children early in life, most before they know what it is. A couple without passion could lose the bond they have created through intimacy without any passion and risk them falling out of love.
Commitment is the conscious decision to stay in a relationship for the
References: Baumgardner, S.R. and Crothers, M. K. (2009). Positive Psychology. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice Hall.