The first thing you need to do is review the DBQ rubric sheet, your essay & my comments.
- Did you answer the prompt …or did you merely interpret documents?
- If you tried to do POV, did you get it or not? Look closely at what you wrote for POV.
- The word is Confucian –not Confusion, Confucious, nor even Confucionis. You need to write the right word so at the AP reading they don’t laugh at you J!
- These are pretty decent DBQ’s, especially for the first one of the year –Congratulations!
- Yet, this was also a pretty SHORT DBQ (only 6 docs –that’s the least EVER given to work with).
1. Thesis: Yea!! So much better this time & they are getting better with each essay! However, this is a skill which everyone must master. Her are some examples to guide you:
These were examples of acceptable theses statements:
Buddhism was able to thrive in China during the period of political instability as people were seeking salvation during a time of constant war, eventually displacing Confucianism. But as imperial rule began to reclaim China, the ascetic demands and practices of Buddhism acted against what was needed in order fo rhte empire to function, resulting in the fade of Buddhism’s appeal in China.
Buddhism was introduced in 100 CE, but did not take a foothold in China until later. Buddhism was generally well received by the Chinese people because it offered hope for salvation. It was firmly established amidst much chaos, but as China established order, it lost some of its popularity.
But these were NOT:
Buddhism spread during this time mainly because it offered a salvation from the instability of the time period, and by the time an imperial structure was set up it had already established itself as part of Chinese society.
[This only has 1 response & the prompt required “responseS.” Stating that Buddhism was established within Chinese society isn’t a response TO Buddhism but rather an effect –instead state what were the responses was Buddhism was “established within.”]
The spread of Buddhism is looked upon as the “evil that should be eradicated” from the point of view of a Tang emperor and viewed as a religion with leaders that deserve great respect by Zang Mi, a Buddhist scholar.
[You shouldn’t be referencing specific docs (by name or by number) within a thesis –if you find yourself doing that, it means you’re not thinking comprehensively about the question nor are you thinking analytically. This sentence explains what two individual people thought of Buddhism, but it doesn’t state what were the overall responses –there’s a difference.]
- Also, to emphasize the point of the last sample thesis, don’t make references to the docs & don’t include quotes from the docs within your thesis. A DBQ thesis should stylistically look no different than a thesis for a C/C or CCOT essay.
2. All Docs: Again, most essays earned this point :)
- If a doc was misunderstood, it was typically Doc 3. If that was you, then look at that doc again & see how it is pro-Buddhism.
3. Evidence: This was okay. Most people who didn’t earn this point fell short because (1) they didn’t use all (or all but one) of the docs or (2) they didn’t actually USE the docs.
- To elaborate on the latter point, that means you have to show, in this case, HOW that doc reveals a response to Buddhism. You cannot just quote from the doc & assume the response was self-evident (even though it said “this evil should be eradicated”(doc 6) –you need to take this rather obvious statement & look at the how &/or why of this statement to show a response to Buddhism’s spread).
- Further, just referring to them as being negative or positive does not earn “supports thesis” points—your are supposed to analyze the responses to Buddhism by using the docs—if you quote...
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