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Post abortion Trauma Affects More than the Baby's Parents I have received many phone calls and e-mail communications from individuals who have just discovered that an abortion has occurred in their family. For some, they are overwhelmed with shock. After that wears off, they are left with various emotions that include grief, anger, frustration, and helplessness. Whether or not you realize it, you are in the process of beginning to mourn a lost family member. Regardless of how the postabortive parent is reacting, you must give yourself time to mourn this loss. Maybe you fall into the categories listed below. Regardless, understand that you are hurting and may need to go through your own grief process. Demographics of Post-Abortive Individuals While women are normally the initial target audience for ministry services, we know that other people are affected by post abortion pain. These individuals can also be a powerful testimony to abortion's devastation. Here are the groups Ramah International, Inc. is seeking to reach: Mothers Carol Everett, former head of five Dallas abortion clinics as well as a woman who experienced an abortion, describes the postabortive woman in this way: "We are everywhere. We are in churches. We are in shopping centers. We are in grocery stores. We work in daycare centers. We are high school dropouts. We are high school graduates. We have Bachelor degrees, Masters, and Ph.D. degrees. We work well below our level of capability. We work at the top level of corporations and governments. Society is not going to punish us. We punish ourselves with self-destructive habits ... drugs, alcohol, eating disorders, sexual dysfunction's, suicide attempts or completions, abusive relationships. Years later something snaps and we can no longer bear the burden of our sin. We confess. Perhaps tentatively, carefully,
cautiously, discreetly, prudently to a friend, a loved one, a boyfriend, a husband or a lover. The pain..." Carol's words -- "years later something snaps and we can no longer bear the burden of our sin" -- accurate describes the break in denial that eventually occurs in most PAS women. For a certain amount of time, we can convince ourselves that we lost a "blob of tissue" in the abortion and not an actual child. Information channels can destroy this myth and bring the reality of the abortion home in an undeniable way. This leaves us open to the feelings of overwhelming grief and guilt that we have stifled for many years. The pain can encompass the heart and until this lost child is properly mourned, peace is a distant concept. For myself, seeing my second child on the ultrasound screen crumbled the "blob" visual I had in my mind and it was at that point that my world shattered and the pain began. Bruce was fully formed, sucking his thumb, and kicking around at 16 weeks of age. For others, fetal development information or pro-life films (i.e., "The Silent Scream", "The Hard Truth," etc.) can bring the reality of abortion into focus. Or it could be in giving birth or struggling with infertility issues which makes it difficult to deny the humanity of the unborn. The post-abortive woman can be found in nearly every race, religion, culture, correctional facility, income-bracket, or age range. Society is completely permeated with our...