1. What Is Lengthened By Being Cut At Both Ends?
491. He: “That’s a flimsy dress you’re wearing.” She: “And that’s a flimsy excuse for staring.”
492. Q. What am I describing? Brick upon brick and a hole in the middle of it. A. A chimney
493. Q. What is lengthened by being cut at both ends? A. A ditch
494. Father: “Son, why is there a big O on your test paper?” Son: “The teacher ran out of stars, so she gave me a moon.”
495. Q. Why do they call it take home pay? A. Because there is no other place you can go with it.
496. A high school girl was going steady with her boyfriend. Saturday night dates usually ended up in the small formal parlor of her parents’ house. The …show more content…
He’s been keeping me pretty much in the dark.”
497. A man went to his mailbox and took out the letter the mailman had just put in. He said to the mailman, “Why is this letter wet?” The mailman replied, “Must be postage dew!” (due)
498. Q. Why does a baldheaded man have no use for keys?” A. Because he doesn’t have any locks.
499. She: “Are you going to the party?” He: “Is it formal or do we wear our own clothes?”
500. Two high school girls, between classes, were leaning against their lockers and watching the boys walking by. One girl said to the other, “Does that boy have a hole in his pants or am I seeing …show more content…
Q. Did you really quit smoking – cold turkey? A. Yes, I quit smoking cold turkey because the stuffing wouldn’t stay lit.
504. Two goats were looking for something to eat. They went behind a movie theatre and found a trash can. One goat found a discarded movie film in the trash can and began eating it. After he finished eating it, the other goat said to him, “How was it?” The goat licked his chops and said, “Not bad, but the book was better.”
505. A father and son were both lion trainers. One day the father disappeared completely, but the son kept his job as a lion trainer. One day a visitor asked the son, “Did you ever put your head inside a lion’s mouth?” The son replied, “Only once – to look for Dad.”
506. A man found that his house was infested with termites. So he hired a professional termite exterminator. After the exterminator finished his work, he said to the home owner, “I have both good news and bad news for you.”
The home owner asked, “What’s the good news?” “All of your termites are dead.” “Well, then, what can be the bad news?” asked the man. “The bad news is –all of their relatives are coming in for the
492. Q. What am I describing? Brick upon brick and a hole in the middle of it. A. A chimney
493. Q. What is lengthened by being cut at both ends? A. A ditch
494. Father: “Son, why is there a big O on your test paper?” Son: “The teacher ran out of stars, so she gave me a moon.”
495. Q. Why do they call it take home pay? A. Because there is no other place you can go with it.
496. A high school girl was going steady with her boyfriend. Saturday night dates usually ended up in the small formal parlor of her parents’ house. The …show more content…
He’s been keeping me pretty much in the dark.”
497. A man went to his mailbox and took out the letter the mailman had just put in. He said to the mailman, “Why is this letter wet?” The mailman replied, “Must be postage dew!” (due)
498. Q. Why does a baldheaded man have no use for keys?” A. Because he doesn’t have any locks.
499. She: “Are you going to the party?” He: “Is it formal or do we wear our own clothes?”
500. Two high school girls, between classes, were leaning against their lockers and watching the boys walking by. One girl said to the other, “Does that boy have a hole in his pants or am I seeing …show more content…
Q. Did you really quit smoking – cold turkey? A. Yes, I quit smoking cold turkey because the stuffing wouldn’t stay lit.
504. Two goats were looking for something to eat. They went behind a movie theatre and found a trash can. One goat found a discarded movie film in the trash can and began eating it. After he finished eating it, the other goat said to him, “How was it?” The goat licked his chops and said, “Not bad, but the book was better.”
505. A father and son were both lion trainers. One day the father disappeared completely, but the son kept his job as a lion trainer. One day a visitor asked the son, “Did you ever put your head inside a lion’s mouth?” The son replied, “Only once – to look for Dad.”
506. A man found that his house was infested with termites. So he hired a professional termite exterminator. After the exterminator finished his work, he said to the home owner, “I have both good news and bad news for you.”
The home owner asked, “What’s the good news?” “All of your termites are dead.” “Well, then, what can be the bad news?” asked the man. “The bad news is –all of their relatives are coming in for the