Penn Foster Paper

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Attitude

I am really unsure about having to take an English composition course because I am not a writer and the field I am studying for is not one that I would have to write for. I am going to put my all into completing this course to the best of my ability. My plan is to be able to strike a good balance between this class and others that are more in line with my field of study. My hope is that I do not get an apathetic attitude towards the course as the curriculum goes on.

Inventory

Working through the inventory, I realized that there are things I need to work on to become a better writer. It also showed me that being able to write well will be important in the future. As a writer, I want to improve my ability to come up with ideas and express my thoughts intelligently. I also would like to be able to pay better attention to grammar so that others can understand what I am writing.

Prewriting
Positives:
Get more done
Stay in touch with family and friends in many ways
Keep up with what’s going on in the world
Able to learn a lot about things I never would have without it Research can be done at one place
Save time by doing things online that I normally had to leave home for

Negatives:
Waste too much time sometimes
People can find me that I don’t want to find me
Lose the benefits of face-to-face contact

Working Thesis:
Computers have had such a profound effect on the way we live our everyday lives that it has completely changed the way we communicate with our friends and family.

Drafting

Computers have had such a profound effect on the way we live our everyday lives that it has completely changed the way we communicate with our friends and family. Long gone are the days when we could only pick up the phone or write a letter that would take days to deliver. Computers now give us the ability to instantly get in touch with anybody we want. With social networking sites such as Facebook, we can keep all our friends updated real-time with status updates and other information without ever actually talking to them. With email, we can send private messages to each other instantly, rather than calling on the phone or hand-writing and sending a letter. With instant messengers such as AOL Instant Messenger, we can have real-time conversations with friends and family, as if we were talking on the phone or sitting next to each other.

Revising
Purpose and Audience:
The purpose and audience of this essay seem to be clear. The writer wants to encourage grandchildren to actually write to their grandparents instead of sending them emails and instant messages. The writer explains that to a grandparent, being able to actually handle and use their senses with a letter or mailed picture can be so much more satisfying than simply receiving a message on a computer. When a person writes a letter or draws a picture, things seem so much more personalized than seeing the email format with emoticons and different fonts. There is something to be said for recognizing a person’s handwriting and seeing the effort a person put into his or her communication.

Thesis statement, topic sentences, paragraphs
This essay needs a lot of work in these areas. The thesis statement is almost non-existent. The first sentence of the essay hints at one, but is more of a command than a proposal of an idea. The writer should have used something like: In today’s fast-paced world, technology sometimes gets in the way of the important things in life, like the joy grandparents can get when they get hand-written letters and crayone-drawn pictures from their grandchildren. The topic sentences are somewhat better, but still a little...
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