“Nice guys may appear to finish last, but usually they are running in a different race.”…
see if a person is truly kind or he/she has something else behind that kindness?…
ME (Orientation) Sometimes I wonder why I wrestle with the same problem over and over. I feel so stupid for just not being able to conquer it. But that’s probably something only I go through, right? Here’s the thing- I’ve tried to tell myself for years that I am a strong person, thick-skinned, able to take it on the chin, but the truth is, I have had many challenges, especially in the area of relationships. Why do I have so much trouble with people? Why do I always seem to end up being deeply disappointed by their lack of integrity, selfish behavior, meanness, etc.? Why do I take it so hard and personally? Why am I so easily OFFENDED? I have always considered myself to be a good friend-to my friends. I know that I am faithful, caring, sensitive to their needs, and generous. I’m not trying to sound like a super-saint here, I’m just saying that I put effort in being a true friend. The problem is, not everyone I have been a friend to, has been a friend to me. I have suffered many disappointments, had confidences betrayed, been unappreciated and taken advantage of. These betrayals have caused me to be overly sensitive to people’s words and actions, and, I hate to admit it but I have turned into a Christian who is easily offended. What exactly am I talking about when I say I am “offended”? I believe that to offend means that a person intentionally acted, to harm and betray another, in order to make them angry or feel some other negative emotion. Scripture translates these actions as causing someone to “sin” through anger. Now that we have a definition, is it a surprise that so many of our offenders have been family members, church members and close friends? WELL, IT WAS TO ME! And I tell you- I have…
Because you're nice like that. The nice guys don't often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don't seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can't. From what I have observed on school and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things as "oh, he's too nice to date" or "he would be a good boyfriend but he's not for me" or "he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn't possibly ask him out!" or the most frustrating of all: "no, it would ruin our…
Cited: BRANTLEY, BEN. "It’s No More Mr. Nice Guy for This Everyman." The New York Times 27 April 2010: 3. Article.…
Why are some people shy and others are outgoing? Why are some people kind and gentle, while others are hostile and aggressive? The answer to these questions can be found in three of the theories that describe personality. These theories are; psychoanalytic, humanistic, and social cognitive. Founded by Sigmund Freud, psychoanalysis is a theory that “stresses the influence of unconscious mental processes, the importance of sexual and aggressive instincts, and the enduring effects of early childhood experience on personality.” (Hockenbury 2014) This theory states that a person’s behavior and attitude are a result of past experiences, unconscious thoughts, buried memories, as well as a desire for pleasure. The second theory, based upon the potential that all humans have, is called the humanistic perspective. Rather than focusing on negative personality aspects, humanists think of all people as good and completely self-aware. An important concept to be aware of within this area of self-awareness is passed on to children from their parents. This concept is known as conditional positive regard. Hockenbury (2014) describes this as, “the sense that the child is valued and loved only when she behaves in a way that is acceptable to others.” While it is important to feel loved and valued, placing limitations on those feelings can be detrimental to a child, as they may end up in denial and never learn how to express their true feelings. The third theory is the social cognitive perspective. This perspective focuses on how conscious thought affects the beliefs and goals that a person has. Hockenbury (2014) paraphrases a leading theorist, Albert Bandura by saying, “collectively a person’s cognitive skills, abilities and attitudes represent the person’s self-system… it is out self-esteem that guides how we perceive, evaluate, and control our behavior in different situations.” What gives this perspective more credibility is that there is a way to measure its’…
People take your kindness for granted. Some do not consider others feelings before they act upon anything they do. Other people are just disrespectful. We have to learn how to deal with it and never follow in the footsteps of disrespect. Kindness is important, always go that extra mile for someone just as much as you would want them to. You both might need each other one day and you will need that extra support or lift. You are always supposed to treat somebody the way you want to be treated. So remember, if you want respect you have to give respect. It is not an easy thing to come by these days but it is always worth a try to see if people will treat you how you are supposed to be treated, because it is one of the easiest things for people to talk about but the hardest thing for people to…
Agreeableness is a tendency to be pleasant and accommodating in social situations. In contemporary personality psychology, agreeableness is one of the five major dimensions of personality structure, reflecting individual differences in concern for cooperation and social harmony. People who score high on this dimension are on average more empathetic, considerate, friendly, generous, and helpful.…
Errors in social perception are a common occurrence, one of these errors is known as the halo effect. We all have a number of general assumptions about what personality traits go together. The likelihood is that we like to see positive characteristics going along with other positive ones,…
A good deed is never lost: he who sows courtesy reaps friendship; and he who plants kindness gathers love.…
I’ve even been complimented on the part of me that appears that way from friends who didn’t appear as “strong” as I did, one friend saying she wished she would stay true to herself like I did and not taking shit from people and this made me feel amazing to know people viewed me a. As I continue to embrace this reputation there are definitely benefits but there are also disadvantages. One problem is that to make a good impression with people I have to pile on the niceness a little more than I normally would and it goes fine from there but if I never talk to someone who for example worked at the same place as me they might think the worse without getting to know the real me. This is a definite problem and one that I struggle to get over especially because I’m more on the introverted side and if I don’t make a good impression it’s going to stay bad. Today, being viewed as a bitch also viewed in a weird way, as if somehow I’m trying to take power that I’m not owed and it starts to get really dicey if you’re an outright feminist and people often take it the wrong…
I believe that kindness is one of the most important human characteristics. It is not that hard to say a simple 'thank you', and yet it can really change the outlook of someone else's day. My sister once told me, “It takes more muscles to frown than to smile.” I have noticed that just being polite to the people around you can really make the atmosphere around you more positive. I can think of a lot of examples of when being polite has made things a little smoother, including one at the doctor's office, another at the commissary, and another one on the metro train in Paris. Yesterday, as I was heading to my appointment at the doctor's office, I entered an elevator to go to the third floor where my doctor's officeis located. As I entered the elevator I pressed the button and waited for the door to close. I was running a few minutes late and I was a little concerned that I would not make my appointment in time. I noticed an old man enter the building and slowly make his way to the elevator. Instead of allowing the elevator door to close on th…
Throughout life, you will meet many different people. Some will forget about you, others will think about you every now and then. Then there are other people that you will be friends with forever. I don’t want to be one of those people that you forget about after high school. I would like everyone to think of me as being an honest person with good morals. However, I think that people perceive me to be someone who is shy, and gets good grades in school. I would like to be seen as someone who truly cares about everyone, young and old; the type of person that makes a difference in others’ lives, and makes a difference in my own life as well.…
My personality type is known as The Protagonist, or formally known as, ENFJ. Protagonists are natural-born leaders, passionate and charismatic. When we interact with other people, we radiate authenticity, concern and altruism. People who are ENFJ are known to be politicians, coaches and teachers who take pride in reaching out to others and inspiring them to achieve and do good in the world as well as guiding them to work together to improve themselves and their community. Inspiring and guiding others is done by reaching every mind through logic or emotion. We are unafraid to stand up for the people and ideas we believe in and we speak when we feel like something needs to be said. However, no one is flawless. Protagonists tend to put a lot of trust in a lot of people that often causes them to get hurt. They are also known to inflict problems among their own being. ENFJ people see other people’s problems in…
A girl I know was introduced to someone who seemed very nice. She got close to that person and started talking about her problems and about her daily life until one day after a year of friendship, she found out that that person had been telling everyone all her secrets and also started making up rumors with the aim of catching attention. How’s that for noble?…