ENG 111 FJT14
27 April 2013
A Different kind of Love
What is love well love is – well love is something a person experiences for their selves. A person cannot tell someone else what love is because to different people that word holds different meanings. We all have had different experiences. Although everyone has felt it at one time or another, be it for a person, pet, or even a non-living object. That feeling is love. Love is felt in different amounts; it may consume your whole life and become an obsession, or perhaps it can be just a little crush. The author of What Nobody Tells You about Love adds that “You will feel it in your gut and be overcome by an undeniable sense of knowing” (Paul). Some people search for what seem their whole lifetimes for love, whereas others may seem to fall in and out of love on a regular basis. In the words of Soren, “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart” (Soren). Love is a hard word to define, but it has been felt since humans walked the earth. We can love many things and many people, but the love between a mother and her child is the most unique love of all. According to Psychology Today A child’s development encompasses many aspects including the physical social, emotional and cognitive/mental. In order for children to develop in all aspects, they must be supported in all areas and the one person most often responsible for this encouragement is the mother. Mothers tend to be the primary caregiver in both traditional and single parent families and thus are with their children more than anyone else. Mothers, therefore, are in the unique position of influencing their children’s growth is all areas of development, beginning with the bonding and attachments that they usually develop with their children. (Anapol) The love between friends, parents and their children, a respectful love for a mentor or hero, a passionate love for an activity a person likes, and the kind of love or devotion to God. Love applies to all of the above. Love is universal; it connects people to things and even more importantly, people to people. Love is very important in shaping a child’s future without it a child will be lost in the world and on a continuous journey to find themselves in all the wrong places. Whether or not one agrees, love is difficult to define due to the diversity of meanings and the meaning of love is constantly changing depending on the situation or person. In this case the love between a mother and her child can be unconditional not accounting mothers with mental and psychological issues. In an interview with a woman named Amber who decided that adoption was the right choice for het take, in feeling really alone she was scared to bring a child into this world noting that she had not had the best journey as a child herself. Finding out she was five months pregnant. She hid it from everyone. “I was ashamed to tell anybody. I did not tell my friends or anybody about it” (Smith). Her family was not aware the father of the child was not aware. But her stepfather noticed something was different about her. Her stepdad thought she was just gaining a little weight but she exercised all the time so he knew that wasn’t it. Although love can be painful, it can also bring happiness to someone that he or she has not experienced before. It is a feeling that rarely comes about and lucky to hold on to. Society today has gotten so caught up in social life, their appearance or even themselves people have forgotten what true love is and often do not find love because they are focused on too many other things. Love is not only a romantic love there are different aspects of love.
The biggest example of love is when a mother like Amber smith gives up her child for adoption. Having many emotions of depression, regret, sadness, anxiety Selfishness, selflessness and the most important emotion love, all combined was hard for her. With three other children no job and living with her parents. She was forced to make a decision. After contemplating abortion she found that she could not go through with the process. She looked into adoption and through looking thought many parent she finally found the perfect couple for her. Through prayer and faith she chose a wonderful family that lives in California Brandon and Teresa. Both wanting an open adoption, she took this opportunity to give them something that they were unable to have. Through this open adoption Amber has been able to connect and contact her biological son Jackson. To see them together there is definitely a love connection there. Even though she is not raising him as her son, Jackson is lucky to have unconditional love by two women in his life.
Society has this preconceived notion that because the mother is the one that gives birth to the child and has the experience of being pregnant that there is no one that can love or form a bond with the child like the mother can. There are other people that can play an active role as a mother and father and still have that bond. In this case those people are Brandon and Teresa who has been playing this role as other and father even though not biologically related they have that Teresa has that special bond with him and so does Amber. They didn’t give birth to their Jackson, Love is formed A very strong and intense feeling of love too, as the parents may feel as if they need to prove to themselves and to the child that not giving birth to them, doesn’t mean they love them any less.
The love between a mother and her child has no limitations on it. No matter what test score you got, wrong decision you have made, the amount of love that remains between the mother and child does not change. Parents are the only ones obligated to love their kids but a child have to earn love from the rest of the world.
Paul, Sheryl. "What Nobody Tells You About Love." 2012. Web. 2 Apr 2013. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sheryl-paul/what-is-love_2_b_1446105.html Smith, A. (n.p.) Jackson's Mom. Interviewed by Maya Ward [in person] Candidate's Home, 22 March 2013. Deborah, Anapol, Ph.D. "What Is Love?." Psychology Today. Sussex Publishers, 27 Nov 2011. Web. Web. 2 Apr. 2013. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/love-without-limits/201111/what-is-love Kierkegaard, Soren. Works of Love. New York: Harper Collins Publishers