The Phenomenology of Death

THE PHENOMENOLOGY OF DEATH The first time happened eleven years ago, I was 7 years old that time. Everyone was crying and hugging each other. Some were talking to me, with tears in their eyes, uttering words I cannot understand. My mother was crying, too. Then I cried, though it was not clear to me what was happening. I just saw my father lying on a box, slowly placed on a deep hole. Then some men plowed the soil and covered the hole where my father was in. Four years later, the second time, the scenario was familiar to me. Everyone was crying again, neighbors went to give their condolences to us. This time, I knew what was happening. My beloved grandmother, “mommy” as I call her, died. I cried, feeling only pain and sorrow. River of tears flowed when my mommy was about to be buried. The moment I discovered that my mommy was already gone, I felt pain instantly. It was like hundreds of pins pricked my heart. Then I felt pity for her. I pity that she can no longer live in this world with us. That she had lost everything. It was like she was punished by God so He took her away from us. I really felt sad for her thinking that she didn’t deserve to be dead. Years passed, I had already grown up; my body and mental capacities have developed. My judgments and perceptions in life have flourished, too. Or simply saying, I have already matured. Or if that doesn’t fit yet, I must say I’m less immature than before. I have encountered different experiences which taught me something about life. And as inevitable as it was, I have still encountered death, but not in my family; in some family friends and my friend’s family. Yet, I can still feel the pity for them, like I used to have when my mommy died. But every time I feel that, I get puzzled. I’m puzzled because I have lots of questions in my mind. Why is it I feel pity for the dead? What is it that should be pitied for? Is it correct for other people to be happy when someone they love died because they’re thinking they have already escaped the burden of life? Why do people have to die, anyway? Then I came to the realization, my realization, that I should not feel pity for those people who have just faced death. There’s nothing to be pitied for. It’s not a form of punishment, as I thought of it before. Nor a reward that will save them from the misery of being alive in this world. It is part of being a mortal, a part of which none of us can escape. It’s just the part where our physical body ceases to function. Through these realizations, I found the essence of death. What is death for? Why do we have to die? The answer is actually the essence of death. We have to die to prove that we have been alive. You will never be called dead if you haven’t lived at all. It’s a proof, an evidence, that a person or thing has once existed in this world. The pity I felt when my grandmother died is really unnecessary. I should not pity her. Rather, I should feel happy that she was once alive and was able to share good things with me. It will remind us the happy moments we had with that someone, the things they have done for us and how they touched our life. So for me, there’s no reason to fear death. It’s magical, not tragic. It’s actually more of a positive than negative. It will carry on memories we had with that person. So, let’s unleash the bright side of it: that death will be our existence’s proof, our proof. :)