Monster: Fear Essay

Fear is an unpleasant feeling of anxiety or apprehension caused by the presence or anticipation of danger. Fear can be brought about by confusion, panic, hurt, and just about anything. Someone can be fearful of their past because it has left painful scars. Many people fear the future because they believe it will end in death. In a sense fear can bury someone alive crushing their hopes and dreams. Throughout the story, Monster, the main character, Steve Harmon, showed constant fear. Steve felt very uncomfortable using the bathroom in front of the other inmates. In his journal he wrote, “My stomach is gassy and bloated. I still can’t go to the bathroom in front of everyone.” This is probably because he thought he would get physically and mentally harmed by doing so. Steve was also afraid of being beaten up. In the opening of the story Steve wrote in his journal ,“The best time to cry is at night, when the lights are out and someone is being beaten up and screaming for help. That way even if you sniffle a little they won’t hear you. If anybody knows your crying, they’ll start talking about it and soon it’ll be your turn to get beat up when the lights go out.“ Steve feared that he had no voice in the case, as if they viewed him as being just another convict. He wrote in his journal “I couldn’t sleep most of the night after the dream. The dream took place in the courtroom. I was trying to ask questions and nobody could hear me. I was shouting and shouting but everyone went about business as if I wasn’t there.” He didn’t want to look weak to everyone. He wrote “I hope I didn’t shout out in my sleep. That would look weak to everybody. It’s not good to be weak in here.” He didn’t want to be convicted because he was terrified of being in jail. Steve wrote in his journal, after hearing why another inmate was crying, “I would have to serve at least 21 years and three months. I can’t imagine being in jail for that long. I wanted to cry with him.” To really express the constant fear Steve had to endure, he wrote in his journal “I go to bed every night terrified out of my mind. I have nightmares whenever I close my eyes. I am afraid to speak to these people in jail with me . In the courtroom I am afraid of the judge. The guards terrify me.” Steve was afraid that his dad would see him as a monster. Steve wrote “Seeing my dad cry like that was just so terrible. What was going on between us, me being his son and him being my dad, is pushed down and something else is moving up in its place. It’s like a man looking down to see his son and seeing a monster instead. Steve was worried that he would start to look at his self as a bad person. To keep from thinking that he would repeat, “I know that in my heart I am not a bad person.” Steve was very fearful and his environment was one to be feared. This helped to create an atmosphere for the story.