A Letter of
COM 200: Interpersonal Communication
Instructor Joseph Tomassini
July 8, 2011
Dear Sara and Tim,
My advice to you for a successful relationship is to be open and honest with each other about how you feel. It starts by identifying barriers to effective interpersonal communication. In fact, being open and honest with your significant other is very important in not creating problems later on the relationship. When you are honest you build trust. According to Pope (2007) the article states “When you’re suppressing communication and feelings during conflict with your husband, it’s doing something very negative to your physiology, and in the long term it will affect your health”. By holding on to grudges it will be detrimental to your marriage. Over time how we relate to each other constantly changes because our relationships grow. We also change as we get older and as the relationship progresses. It takes time to build an interpersonal relationship in our marriage. Self-disclosure lets us become aware of our partners feelings. By interacting on a daily basis we become aware of our partners wants and their needs. Another important tip is to develop strategies for active, critical, and empathic listening. Sole (2011) found “When you feel as though you can trust the other person, you can trust the other person, you have expectations that you can depend on him or her to care for you and be responsive to your needs”. Share your values, morals and ideas. Make your spouse feel appreciated. Share your expectations of yourself and your spouse. It is critical if you want a long term relationship. In fact, communication is made possible by having confidence and a mutual understanding. The relationship can than flourish. It leads to less conflict and turmoil In addition, understand the impact of gender and culture on interpersonal communications. In research studies by Stipe (2007), “In brain-imaging studies women have more blood flow to the arts of their brains that produce and interpret language and there are more interconnections between the emotional center and the verbal center”. Men and Women tend to think differently about certain things Men are not as emotional as women. Men tend not be as emotional as women and women tend to be more emotional.
Culture plays a part in our relationship because we all have different family traditions and customs. Those differences can either make a relationship or cause problems in a relationship and this is where you have to evaluate appropriate levels of self-disclosure in the relationship. Berstein (2010) has found a method called “the speak-listener method, which allows you to determine how much information you disclose at the start of a relationship, he recommends that you slowly disclose information over time”. Both people involved should maintain a sense of privacy and slowly divulge information as they get to know each other. It is never wise to give much information up front, especially at the start of relationship. Information should be given as the relationship develops.
Telling people how you feel about them can bring them closer. For example, you can tell people about your feelings, opinions, and things you enjoy doing. Disclosure is all about deciding when to tell someone about your personal information. If this will be a long term relationship there is no rush to be to up front with all your personal information
.Take the time to get to know one another. There are also other important factors for having a normal relationship. There are strategies for maintaining interpersonal conflicts. Wong (2011) states “that often the roots of the recurrent martial conflict lie outside the relationship itself, the source may lie in your past”.
Sara and Tim it is important that you listen to each other’s feelings, even if you disagree. Consider all the facts in a conflict before communicating with your spouse. Limit...
References: Elizabeth Bernstein. (2010, July 27). Bonds / On Relationships: Fighting Happily Ever After --- There 's a Right Way To Argue and It Can Be Good for Relationships. Wall Street Journal (Eastern Edition), p. D.1. Retrieved July 9, 2011, from ABI/INFORM Global. (Document ID: 2092133821).
Sole, K. (2011).Making Connections: Understanding Interpersonal Communication. (Ashford University Ed.)San Diego, CA: Bridge pointe Education Inc.
Galena Kline Rhodes, & Clara M Stocker. (2006).Can Spouses Provide Knowledge of Communication Patterns? Study of Self-Reports, Spouses Reports, and Observation Coding. Family Process, 45(4), 499-511.Retrieved June 25, 2011, from Research Library. Pro Quest. (Document ID: 1107818904)
Jennifer Benjamin. (2010, April).How I Saved My Marriage.Self.32 (4).126.Retreived June 25, 2011 from Research Library. Pro (Document ID: 2011027391)
Bryan, Stipe. (2007, November).Why can’t he hear what you’re saying? Redbook 209(5), 188.Retrived June25, 2011 from Research Library. (Document ID:1394231261)
Elizabeth Berstein.( 2010,July 27).Bonds/On relationships: Fighting Happily Ever After-There’s a right Way to Argue and It Can Be Good for Relationships. Wall Street Journal (Eastern Edition), p.1.Retrieved July 9, 2011, From ABI/INFORM Global. (Document ID: 2092133821)
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