all in the family script
"Archie's brief encounter"
Theme
(Sung by Zooey Deschanel)
"Boy the way Mac Miller rapped,
Songs that made us say 'oh snap', guys like dat we got it made, these are the days.
And you know who you are now girls are girls and men are pigs
Yeah we got a man
Barack for president again.
We don't need no welfare state
Everybody's overweight
Gee my, escalade looks great
These are the days"
beginning
Denise: Would you like some more agave sweetener, sweetheart?
Archie: Oh, no, no, I just had the lap band surgery so I need to watch how much fructose I'm intaking. but if you just dip your pinky in there I'm sure that'll make it sweet babe.
Denise: Oh, you're such a cutie!
Archie: People are just always saying that to me
Denise: Oh you're such a goofball, one of y'all got a good joke for me today?
Archie: Oh I got a slammin' joke for you today baby. It's a combination of a joke and riddle - a middle, if you will
Denise: Oh, I will!
Archie: So just listen to the sentence and you'll figure it out…the winner of the knock knock joke should win a Nobel Prize.
all 3: hmmm…
(scratching their heads and thinking, Denise looks particularly confused)
Denise: Huh? I give up please tell me!
Joe: nobel…Nobel..no bell! I've figured it out!
Whitey: Damn that was a real dumb one Arch.
(Denise laughing her head off. Archie looks surprised but also pleased as he watches her laugh with a smile.)
Denise: A HOO ahooo (trying to catch her breath) That was hilarious. You are just too funny Archie Bunker. I could just eat you up.
(Pinches his cheek and walks off to fill orders for another table)
(Watching her backside as she retreats, mutters barely audible)
Archie: Hey…maybe I should take her up on that (Smiling to himself) Too funny huh?
Whitey (mocking archie and denise's voices while making girlish poses): Oooooh…you're so hot I just wish I could kiss you!! (kissing noises) Ooh Denise I think I''ll be having you for
Theme
(Sung by Zooey Deschanel)
"Boy the way Mac Miller rapped,
Songs that made us say 'oh snap', guys like dat we got it made, these are the days.
And you know who you are now girls are girls and men are pigs
Yeah we got a man
Barack for president again.
We don't need no welfare state
Everybody's overweight
Gee my, escalade looks great
These are the days"
beginning
Denise: Would you like some more agave sweetener, sweetheart?
Archie: Oh, no, no, I just had the lap band surgery so I need to watch how much fructose I'm intaking. but if you just dip your pinky in there I'm sure that'll make it sweet babe.
Denise: Oh, you're such a cutie!
Archie: People are just always saying that to me
Denise: Oh you're such a goofball, one of y'all got a good joke for me today?
Archie: Oh I got a slammin' joke for you today baby. It's a combination of a joke and riddle - a middle, if you will
Denise: Oh, I will!
Archie: So just listen to the sentence and you'll figure it out…the winner of the knock knock joke should win a Nobel Prize.
all 3: hmmm…
(scratching their heads and thinking, Denise looks particularly confused)
Denise: Huh? I give up please tell me!
Joe: nobel…Nobel..no bell! I've figured it out!
Whitey: Damn that was a real dumb one Arch.
(Denise laughing her head off. Archie looks surprised but also pleased as he watches her laugh with a smile.)
Denise: A HOO ahooo (trying to catch her breath) That was hilarious. You are just too funny Archie Bunker. I could just eat you up.
(Pinches his cheek and walks off to fill orders for another table)
(Watching her backside as she retreats, mutters barely audible)
Archie: Hey…maybe I should take her up on that (Smiling to himself) Too funny huh?
Whitey (mocking archie and denise's voices while making girlish poses): Oooooh…you're so hot I just wish I could kiss you!! (kissing noises) Ooh Denise I think I''ll be having you for