9 Things you simply must do to succeed in love and life
Daniel Shane Tomlinson
Student ID: 23260859
Presented to Dr. Steven Brooks
In partial fulfillment of the requirements of
Introduction to Pastoral Counseling
Liberty Baptist Theological Seminary
July 20, 2008
Cloud, Henry. 2004. 9 Things You Simply Must Do to Succeed in Love and Life. Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, Inc.
In the book 9 Things You Simply Must Do to Succeed in Love and Life Dr. Henry Cloud gives a contrasting analysis of those people who embrace certain principles that aid them in excelling at love and life and those who ignore and, in effect, reject those same principles and ultimately experience disappointment. These principles revolve around the character and behavior of people, the propensity to avoid these principles and the result of ignoring these principles. The principles that Dr. Cloud aligns success in love and life are born in catch phrases that lead to defining values. These values lie in the principles titled dig it up, pull the tooth, play the movie, do something, act like an ant, hate well, don’t play fair be humble and upset the right people. The overarching theme of Dr. Cloud’s message is communicated through the term “Déjà vu people” who are described as those who identify the nine contextualized principles in successful circumstances and take action to developing these principles into meaningful attributes that promote and facilitate success within their own life. The identifiable qualities that these people recognize are not those of people but of patterns of behavior that reveal a path that successful people commonly walked (4). Déjà vu people are “those persons who practice those ways and enjoy the success that they bring” (8). Subsequently, Cloud commonly illustrates the duality of those who do not act upon these principles and the resulting consequences thereof. Dr. Cloud’s findings communicate significant messages that stress growing these principles within each person’s life. Cloud states “growth is not only about getting healthy but about learning ways of living as well” (11). Cloud contends that by growing these individual qualities that aid a person in taking meaning inspiration from life’s successes, difficulties and challenges and translating them into meaningful life experiences that increase their own quality of life.
The Lord speaks to me quite bluntly at times. On many occasions, He has addressed me through circumstance on issues that I fail to acknowledge for fear of repercussion. As I was reading chapter four of 9 Things You Simply Must Do to Succeed in Love and Life I realized that God was revealing something to me through the experience of, what Cloud would consider, a déjà vu moment. I am currently in a transition between moving into a new house and selling the old house. Usually, this process is reversed but my family was blessed with finding a home that was at an irresistible location and will allow us to care for my wife’s aging parents. After a considerate amount of prayer, we felt that God’s favor was on this transaction and that we would have to lean on Him during the next few months for provision. When this type of life experience occurs there are many foreseen and unforeseen issues that surface resulting in a great load of stress. As a result my ministry has suffered, my studies are strained, my work projects are not being attended to properly, and my family is experiencing a high level of stress. I came to the conclusion that I was trying to make co-workers, church leaders, family members and school fit into a box that was too small to contain off of these priorities. I started to question my decision in buying the house. What was truthfully occurring was that I was blaming myself for the decisions made. Clouds states in Chapter four that “your ability to confront and resolve...
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