I Am Who I Am
I am what I am Have you ever heard about people who claim that they seem to exist in this world in different personality? In one place you’re defined as the one who loves to talk about anything except girl stuffs. Then later on in another place you would be the one to open the conversation that deals with these ‘girl stuffs.’ In one place people know you as someone who’s very conservative that don’t talk that much. But in another world you’re described as someone who will do whatever you want and doesn’t care about what other people might say about you. Well, it’s kind of a weird thing but that’s what I perceive of myself. I don’t think I’m schizophrenic, it’s just that I don’t really know who am I really is.
I’m a great pretender—the girl who wears different layers of masks of personalities.
I grew up being a go-with-the-flow type of person. I agree on what the majority suggest. I let people boss me around. I just always think that “It’s just alright, it will not kill you.” In a nutshell, I always please anyone.
I’m a great fan of Sociology. I really believe that everybody’s traits, attitudes and personalities are product of their society/environment. I believe that the way your environment change or develop is the same as how your perception in life developed. It’s really hard to explain things for me, but what I’m saying is what truly I am (or what I perceive of who I am rather).
I have one simple goal since kindergarten (I guess). It’s to have a comfortable home for my parents. Until now, even I have many extra plans for my future; to have our dream house is my inspiration. I really want to help my parents, someday, in raising our family. I really do.
I am friendly. I love talking to different people with different life backgrounds so I can learn from them or I can share something helpful to them. I enjoy exchanging stories of random stuffs to anyone. I don’t really understand it, but I always notice myself being so observant of people. That way, I can say who are true and fake.
I like reading books, especially fictional books. How the characters think about each other is one reason I enjoy reading it. I wonder why people have to judge someone they don’t really know. I mean, you can have your opinion of course but having your opinion about someone’s behavior is a lot different on making a judgment of that someone’s behavior. Why are there people who enjoy insulting someone on his back? And I want to know why some people let others ruin their life? I wonder why some enjoy comparing two persons who are obviously different from one another. Yeah right I am a person who has so many questions in life. That’s why I consider my life miserable.
When I enter college, instead of improving my point of view in life, I become so insecure and conscious of myself. Any word that would hit me means something negative for me. But I immediately overcome that. I realize that this is what He has given me. Nothing will happen in my life if I’ll keep it a big deal what other people might think of me. Life must go on. Life isn’t about following every order imposed and not about trying to please everyone. It’s about knowing your purpose why are you walking in this world.
When I got my paper back, I looked first on the negative part. Not that it matters to me but I really want to know what my mates observe and perceive on me. I already knew (and it’s quite understandable) that most of the negative opinion would be ‘madaldal’ and ‘not very punctual.’ But what made my stomach flip is the word ‘pacute minsan.’ I couldn’t even imagine myself in that state, how come someone thought of me that way? I also hadn’t expected that my being ‘attached sa mga kaibigan’ becomes negative. And what made me feel worst is when somebody wrote I’m ‘in bad company.’ It’s just so unfair and it kind of making me feels guilty and guiltier when my friends happened to read it themselves. I do hope this issue would be settled very soon.
On the positive side of my paper, some wrote I’m ‘responsible,’ ‘approachable,’ ‘funny’ and ‘kind’. Kind? I don’t think so. I thought maybe, they’re just being nice to me or maybe they don’t know what to write so they put it instead since it’s a basic affirmative description. Some also wrote ‘intelligent’ which I find impossible considering my other classmates’ school curriculum.
Well, in the end, opinion will stay opinion, it will not affect your way of living as long as you’ll keep it as ‘an’ opinion. How will you take this opinion is up to you. Everyone has their own unique perception.
“Everyone has his own set of goggles.”—Marshall McLuhan