External love is praised fiercely by various kinds of media in everyday life, like most popular songs are about external love, they describe the beauty and pain of love which may attract more people to have a experience of it, hence having a relationship with someone are regarded as the ideal or hope. Influenced by this idea, I have two love experiences with girls and I will choose the eternal love as the topic of this project. In this project, first, I will show my two lovely experiences and critically analyze the exact relationship with my love and distinguish which kind of type they are by using the theory of C.S. Lewis. Second, I focus on my first love experience and use the liquid love theory of Bauman to analyze, additional I will discuss why I have this relationship and how can I enjoy it from the theory of Beck, U. and Beck-Gernsheim, E. Third, I will demonstrate my recent real emotion situation and discuss the new forms of love with the theory of Batchelor, S. Fourth, I will integrally analyze the three external love and indicate the self-realisation what I get from the three love experiences also with the theory of Beck, U. and Beck-Gernsheim, E.
Before I show the process of my first love relationship, I analyzed that the reason why I intended to start a relationship is that my everyday life was so repeating boring and I did not accept a belief like religion. In addition to it, which is most important, I had no feeling about connecting with other people from any communities. In senior high school, all of the thing I had to or I simply can do by studying in my everyday life. There are no clubs or activities in my senior high school in order to let students focus on studying so that students can get a high grade in the Gaokao. However, I had no interest in studying the boring and actually useless knowledge to deal with the Gaokao. Unfortunately, I was supervised to achieve the assignment like the exercises of universal gravitation commonplace life by teachers and my parents so that I had no chance and time to get a touch with new ideas and beliefs about life. Moreover, I got not so much touch with my classmates which are the most primary community I had because everyone is busy on their studying. Furthermore, I regarded the love as the hope and idealization due to copious propaganda from the media to a certain extent.
According to Beck and Beck-Gernsheim (1995), the transition from pre-modern society to modern society accelerated the commodity and individualization process, change the relationship between people and cut people from their traditional ties, beliefs and social connection and religion which are lead by the enlightenment and the industrial revolution. However, with the vanish of our faith and free from the material which make people accept more education and think more about life, love is regarded as a succedaneum replacing the group, becoming the hope and idealization of people, and lead people to believe and devote themselves to it. Hence, it is proved that the reason why I chose to start a relationship with a girl is not naturally there emerged a girl I liked, but I had no value or beliefs or communities to guide my activities according to this theory. Coming from the opposite aspect, after a period time, I started to reduce the time on study, and found that there were other boys like me who are not interested in studying, so we built a group to do something together even cut a class. After that, I would not like starting a relationship imminently. Therefore, this change also supports the theory refers to why people choose to love from an opposite aspect. Nevertheless, it is stated by Beck and Beck-Gernsheim (1995), that divorce figures are extraordinary people who in love or marriage always complain that why living together is so difficult and why can't keep a long and meaningful love. As for this phenomenon, the liquid love theory of Bauman may give an appropriate explanation for it....
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