Please allow this letter to satisfy the reference letter requirement your agency delegated as a condition of consideration for the adoption application process for Jane Little, the prospective adoptive parent of Kylie. I understand that Jane was advised today that she is not an ideal candidate due to your agency’s traditional preference for children to be placed in dual-parent families. Therefore, I intend to share my personal knowledge and experiences that will assist you in mitigating the common risk factors known to negatively affect children’s behavioral outcomes of whom were raised in single-parent families. Jane and I share a most uncommon connection to one another and it is my belief that the resulting closeness that has continually developed in our relationship during the past decade highly qualifies me to serve as her best reference.
First, I must give credit to my dear and elderly grandmother-in-law and her low tolerance to a single glass of wine for my introduction to Jane. During a holiday dinner in 2002, I learned that my newly wedded husband was the father of a boy placed for adoption at birth. Following what I consider a justified emotional outburst to that enlightening news, I became determined to locate this child and his adoptive family. I was about to give birth to my own child, a boy, and now overwhelmed with the idea of robbing my flesh and blood of the opportunity to know the existence of his biological brother. Luckily, there was enough wine left over that evening to offer Grandma her second glass at which time she easily revealed that the mother of my child’s sibling was Jane. To this day, Jane freely argues that my affinity towards five-star hotels and fine dining in the city is a waste of money. However, it is my opinion that her obsession with organic food is completely overrated. Clearly, it’s not our similarities that bond us. Rather, it is the fact that we are raising biologically related children and believe strongly that the importance of “maintaining ties between separated siblings can result in less loneliness, fewer behavioral problems and significantly higher self worth,” (Child Welfare Information Gateway, 2006). As you may or may not be aware, the biological mother of Jane’s first adopted son went on to birth three more children of varying fathers that were promptly mandated to Social Services’ care shortly after their birth. At the invitation of the State’s agency, she legally adopted each child so as to ensure the best possible outcomes for each child.
Understandably, in today’s economy, a family of this size could raise financial stability concerns - especially as it relates to the ability to provide the basics like college tuition for a brood of that size. As much as I enjoy teasing Jane about the country life she leads, the professional horse boarding and training facility she founded, turned out to be quite the lucrative financial endeavor in addition to providing experientially broad opportunities for the children. The kids not only enjoy being the hosts to the local 4-H club events but also the bragging rights to more than a few Hollywood movies filmed right in their own backyard. The combination of a running a prosperous ranch and Jane’s teaching degree provides a top-notch education in real life responsibilities. All of her children are involved in a “mini-business” opportunity of their own that requires the swift return of any profit to their respective personal savings accounts.
With the abundance of available learning opportunities, structure, support and familial bonding that represents a normal day in Jane’s home, I have never felt hesitant to trust my children in her care during their regular visits. But apparently strong arguments exist against single family homes due to the assumption that two can provide better than one. Fortunately, Jane happens to be lucky enough to not be that typical single mother that can be stereotyped in those single parent studies where they live in a world of financial instability, lack education, or possess a weakness to meet a status quo by joining in a relationship that has a 50%+ statistic for failing in divorce anyway. With a village of supporters behind her, a teaching degree, a healthy net worth, psychological and physical capabilities that meet the State’s adoption qualifications evidenced by the successful placement of four children to date, the only point left to argue at this time is the well being of little Kylie joining this family.
The Child Welfare Information Gateway, a national service of the Children’s Bureau, Administration for Children and Families, and U.S. Department of Health and Human Services states, “One of the most important contributions that child welfare professionals can provide for children who enter foster care is to preserve their connections with their brothers and sisters” (Child Welfare Information Gateway, 2013). Kylie, as you know, shares a biological mother with four other siblings, all of whom are legally adopted by Jane. Your agency has the opportunity to provide the best possible outcome for that child by granting placement in the closest natural home possible - with her biological brothers and sisters. I certainly can’t imagine a more ideal “forever family”, can you?
Thank you for your time and sincere consideration in finalizing the proceedings for Kylie to finally go home.