Grief Is Always Selfish

'Grief is always essentially selfish. ' Compare and contrast the poets ' presentation of their responses to loss, exploring how far both men are more preoccupied with themselves than with their dead wives.
Both Ted Hughes and Thomas Hardy can be seen to express a certain level of grief as a natural response to the death of their wives. However, elements of this grief can be viewed as essentially selfish; both men appear preoccupied with themselves as opposed to their wives, though each poet to a different extent. Hardy can be perceived to place the blame on Emma in poems such as 'The Going ', whereas contrary to this, Hughes is seen to more readily admit his involvement in Plath 's death, which can be seen in 'Error ', though Hughes can
While Plath was a successful writer in her own right, Hardy and Emma lived at a time when men were, generally, more successful in their careers and Hardy was seen as more talented than Emma at writing, overshadowing her, causing jealousy in their relationship. However, Hardy gives Emma the voice in death that she did not have while she was alive, such as in 'The Haunter '. Yet, Hardy manipulates this voice to, perhaps, reassure himself that her death was not his fault, giving Emma the role of a "good haunter" and a ghost that perpetually devotes herself to him. This can be viewed as a selfish way of dealing with his grief in the way that it allows Hardy to, effectively, comfort himself with a sense of complacency by giving Emma a voice that implies she does not hold him responsible, replacing "the real Emma with an ideal image of herself" [4] that he can utilise to console himself. Contrary to this, Hughes reflects in his poem 'Error ' the idea that he "brought", or "sleepwalked" Plath "into" "[his] dreamland", implying that he manipulated her, the use of the term "sleepwalked" suggesting that it was against her will or, at least, that she was unaware, Hughes accepting responsibility of this "error". The fact that he refers to it as his personal "dreamland" also suggests that he was aware that Plath did not perceive Devon in this way, showing he fully understood that it was not somewhere she wanted to be and it was a decision forced upon her. Plath 's opinions about England are reflected further with references regarding death such as "rotting like a coffin", Hughes effectively giving Plath a pessimistic voice in his poetry by representing her views, which show that it was not a pleasant place for Plath. We know these are not Hughes’ own views of England from his previous writings regarding it; he “had loved growing up in the Yorkshire countryside” [5]. However, while Hughes