To Divorce or Not Divorce
Kristina Klyam
ENG – 101
February 21, 2013
TO DIVORCE OR NOT DIVORSE? THAT IS THE QUESTION
Being married at the age 17 because I was in “Love” led to my divorce at the age of 19. Choosing a lifetime partner cannot be based on love alone, therefore, divorce is often the only way out of a love-less marriage. What is a divorce? According to thefreedictionary.com divorce is a complete or radical severance of closely connected things. If two people are closely connected yet share nothing of significance in common, wouldn’t you agree that severance of that connection is the answer to a happy connection with someone more suitable? Why would we choose to be unhappy “Till death do us part”? While religious cultures may view a marriage sacred, there is nothing sacred or Godly about a loveless marriage and that is why we must choose our partner accordingly or consider the option of a divorce. Lets take a closer look at the components of choosing a lifetime partner. Dov Heller, a marriage therapist who holds a Master’s Degrees in Clinical Psychology states that you need a common life purpose, in his article “Dating Strategies for the Marriage-Minded”. The rest of your life is a long time. What do you plan to do with each other? You need to know what you want out of life and find someone who wants the same thing. There are two varieties of people in this world, the once who are dedicated to personal growth and once who are dedicated to seeking comfort in someone else’s growth and success. A person committed to the quest of comfort will put their needs in the forefront of doing the right thing. Ask yourself, how does this man/woman treat others, such as their relatives or siblings? Even bus boys and taxi drivers, do they treat them with respect? Do they gossip about other people? Heller says, “Someone who gossips cannot be someone who loves others. You can be sure that someone who treats others poorly will eventually treat you poorly as well.” Finding someone you
ENG – 101
February 21, 2013
TO DIVORCE OR NOT DIVORSE? THAT IS THE QUESTION
Being married at the age 17 because I was in “Love” led to my divorce at the age of 19. Choosing a lifetime partner cannot be based on love alone, therefore, divorce is often the only way out of a love-less marriage. What is a divorce? According to thefreedictionary.com divorce is a complete or radical severance of closely connected things. If two people are closely connected yet share nothing of significance in common, wouldn’t you agree that severance of that connection is the answer to a happy connection with someone more suitable? Why would we choose to be unhappy “Till death do us part”? While religious cultures may view a marriage sacred, there is nothing sacred or Godly about a loveless marriage and that is why we must choose our partner accordingly or consider the option of a divorce. Lets take a closer look at the components of choosing a lifetime partner. Dov Heller, a marriage therapist who holds a Master’s Degrees in Clinical Psychology states that you need a common life purpose, in his article “Dating Strategies for the Marriage-Minded”. The rest of your life is a long time. What do you plan to do with each other? You need to know what you want out of life and find someone who wants the same thing. There are two varieties of people in this world, the once who are dedicated to personal growth and once who are dedicated to seeking comfort in someone else’s growth and success. A person committed to the quest of comfort will put their needs in the forefront of doing the right thing. Ask yourself, how does this man/woman treat others, such as their relatives or siblings? Even bus boys and taxi drivers, do they treat them with respect? Do they gossip about other people? Heller says, “Someone who gossips cannot be someone who loves others. You can be sure that someone who treats others poorly will eventually treat you poorly as well.” Finding someone you